SS called
He called Friday evening & said that between BM & her mother, they've managed to scrape together the $50 to order his test that he should've taken at the end of the last school year to start his senior year this year. They're waiting for it to come through the mail.
I'm not certain how this homeschooling thing normally works, but he said they order the test. It comes to the house by mail, he takes it, & they turn it back into the district. He said it takes a month to find out whether or not he passed. I have a hard time believing they simply mail a test to him to take at home (What would keep someone from cheating?) & that it takes a month to determine whether he passed or not?
So, that would put him into the end of September or beginning of October before he's able to start his senior year of school. I would think the district would have some kind of deadline. They don't just let a kid start 1/2 way through the year & graduate with his class, I wouldn't think.
Anyway, after DH lectured him (again) about the importance of an education, SS said, "Well, I hope the CS check gets here soon. I need a bottle of liquor". Yep. He was that bold. DH said, "Is your mother buying you liquor with the CS money???" SS reply was (chuckling), "Uh...no comment...?".
A couple of months ago when SS helped himself to my vodka BM railed DH for "providing his son with alcohol". She said she believes he has a drinking problem, yet to convince him to spend his 18th birthday with her 2 weeks later, she bought him a bottle, & now she's using CS money to enable his problem, but hasn't been able to spare $50 for him to test out of last year to start his senior year of high school. MOTY anybody???
Normally, we'd have pulled the CS from the bank & stopped at Walmart to get the money order & had it in the mail this morning, as we do every Monday. Now, of course we've known all along that BM is a POS, but her threatening DH with court because it takes a week for her to get her CS by mail & then SS being ballsy enough to put it out there the way he did, there is no rush on it this week. As much as we have come to fear the idea of court & going before a judge anymore, I almost hope BM takes him to court over it. SS is 18. There won't be anymore GAL speaking for him. He can be ordered to take the stand & testify & answer questions regarding BM now. Granted, he'd probably lie, but he's not as smart as he thinks he is, & it wouldn't take anything for a lawyer to tie his story in knots.
I don't know how long DH intends to wait to talk to his lawyer about putting a stop to the CS for SS. He is of age & not enrolled in school. In my opinion, the CS needs to stop.
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Comments
Wow, your Bm is a piece of
Wow, your Bm is a piece of work.Isn't it sad to see kids having their lives ruined by bad parents? It is sad to se epotential wasted inthe case of your Ss. Can you report his mother for providing aclohol to a minor?
All we could do is report
All we could do is report that SS said she did. We have no hard proof, & I doubt anyone would file anything based on that alone. SS never says anything until after the fact. He did say she was going to buy him a bottle with the next check, but unless we can report it as it's happening, I doubt they'd do anything.
My sister did it with her
My sister did it with her kids through 6th grade. They had homeschool groups, though, so they were able to socialize with other kids. They went to public school for junior & senior high. They were successful in that all 5 of them were able to start taking college courses in their 9th & 10th grade years, & by going through the public school, they did get their diplomas. Had they homeschooled through all of it, they wouldn't have. They also would've had to done something equivalent.
If homeschooling is done right, it requires more work on the parts of both the students & their parents to be sure things are in order & on done on schedule. BM did it to keep from having to get up in the mornings to make sure the kids got to school. Lazy doesn't do well with homeschooling...obviously.
I imagine how it would go over with a judge. I can see her on the stand moaning about how she can't possibly provide for her children when she has to wait A WHOLE WEEK for the CS to arrive. I told DH, let it happen. Let her go before & complain about having to wait a week...not because he hasn't sent it but because the mail just takes that long, after she's heard from parents who've gone months & years having to support their children on their own simply because the paying parent is a deadbeat. LET IT HAPPEN! LOL!
In our state, I believe CS
In our state, I believe CS can continue until age 19 if the kid is still in school. My skids are also homeschooled, and when SD19 turned 18, he was worried BM was going to keep her "in school" to get CS another year. Thankfully, she did not. There is also no regulation on the homeschooling, which to me is very scary. There is no test they have to take and send back to the district.
Honestly, I would be tempted to withhold CS and let them go to court. There are things that they really don't want coming out. We don't have that luxury...it's taken right out of DH's paycheck. Why is he just starting his senior year at 18? I would definitely report the alcohol. Even if they lie, hopefully somebody will at least check. My exh died at 48 of liver disease from alcohol abuse.
Good luck!
DH has talked about simply
DH has talked about simply withholding 1/2 the CS. He still has SD to pay on. She'll be 15 in September (& has also managed to fall a year behind in all of this homeschooling crap). With everything that's gone on in court up until now, I am terrified to simply stop paying until it goes to court. If I had my way, he'd have called his lawyer by now & been advised on what to do. I feel like he needs to go ahead & file, & leave the burden of proof on BM. Court order is the only way she'll provide DH with anything so we'll know for sure that he's in school anyway.
SS should've graduated last year, however, BM couldn't get her ass out of bed in the mornings when he was in Kindergarten, so due to lack of attendance, he had to repeat the year. Yep...in kindergarten...
I would NOT just stop paying.
I would NOT just stop paying. That could bite DH in the a$$ later on.
Besides, support is usually calculated on a sliding scale.
Say the first kid is $1000, the second kid may only be another 10-20% or so... So out of $1200 in CS, only $200 would be the reduction.
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I'm with the others stop
I'm with the others stop giving CS and start the proper steps to get it stopped b/c they could just be lieing as this doesn't add up. Bm will make sure she fights it and it won't be too long before you know weather or not ss is ion school or not either way you will know the truth.
Storm, you or DH need to put
Storm, you or DH need to put this skid in a GED program ASAP. He is going to milk the CS for as long as he can unless you get him out of the HS.
And I don’t think your DH can just hold half to CS, unless it is not through the court system…?
If there were a way to put
If there were a way to put him into a program, we would...in a heartbeat. He lives with BM, & they are 1 1/2 hours from where we are. He is 18, so there is no way we can make him attend anything. DH talks to him about the importance of education every time they talk, but there is no way, with the distance, that we could transport him to & from anything.
If he were living with us, we could do that. He's talked about living with us, but only when he's mad at BM. If he decides he wants to live in our home & is willing to take the necessary steps to make it happen, we are more than willing. However, neither DH or I is open to the idea of our home being used as a free motel for him to crash at anytime his feathers get ruffled.
As for the CS, we cannot hold out. In DH's CO, it states:
"...the parties agree that defendant shall pay to plaintiff the sum of $450.00 per month as and for child support and maintenance beginning December 1, 2005, and continuing in a like manner each month thereafter until further order of a court of competent jurisdiction; said child support payable directly to plaintiff by Payroll Deduction Order for Support entered contemporaneously herewith."
It isn't paid through payroll deduction anymore, because DH was laid off from the job he had at the time. We do send money orders weekly in the amount that was being deducted from his check each week. Given the crappy draw we seem to get every time we go to court, I can see the judge coddling BM because DH took it upon himself to short her CS & automatically throwing out any argument DH would have to make. I can see him coming out owing arrears, & I can't deal with being in debt to that woman.
SS & BM have both participated in holding out on truth to keep the checks rolling in. If I had the authority to do so, I'd have had his lawyer on the phone 2 weeks ago when we found out he wasn't in school.
Even if he does end up enrolling, DH could put that share of the money to better use for SS (to fix his car so he can transport himself to & from a job) & know that his money wasn't being used to support an alcohol addiction for his highschool dropout.
I still say that is the only
I still say that is the only way you find out the truth if this boy is really in school or not. What is the worst that can happen dh has to pay back support is all if he is still in school. period. Pl;us I bet you money it won't take bm long to take your dh to court so it could only be a few months and they will take a little out at a time.
Although I think you dh NEEDS to call his lawyer period! Let him know everything that is going on and that he is only concerned that his child is drinking and others things along with not being in school.