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Ode to husband

StepperLife's picture

Submitted by StepperLife on Wed, 09/25/2019 - 5:36pm

Dear Husband,

Thank you. Thank you for three beautiful girls. 

Thank you for allowing me to see so many things. How I will always have this thought of my feelings being less than. Or how I at times feel my thoughts and opinions don’t matter. Thank you for allowing me to realize our marriage will always come before our three daughters but after your daughter outside of this marriage. Thank you for pushing me through school to then just be a SAHM because you prefer it that way. Thank you for providing. Thank you for after these years knowing that although to I am someone you can belittle that I am not as tiny as you make me feel. Thank you for not eating dinner when your pride gets in the way. Thank you for not acknowledging our daughters when an issue arises due to yours. Thank you for showing my daughters the type of man with qualities they should avoid and look for all at the same time. 

Thank you for everything. The good and bad. 

The seven year itch as they say I believe has came to present itself. While I am not able to control the situation. I am able to control myself. My actions. My words. 

Thank you for allowing me to grow like a resilient weed through concrete. 

Sincerely,

your wife. 

Comments

StepperLife's picture

Submitted by StepperLife on Wed, 09/25/2019 - 9:51pm

Indeed I have. Big pickle if I might add. Do I stay knowing mini wife will always be before me?

its frustrating- I was raised kids, our children, are raised for society. They’re not the ones we grow old with. I remember my grandmother always told me, if the husband and wife aren’t right the family isn’t right. 

He agrees until it comes down to his daughter and I feel time is being wasted with arguments. 

I love him. But I’m no longer in love with him. 

Things took a turn for the worst when we moved to be closer to his daughter. He doesn’t see that. 

 

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Thu, 09/26/2019 - 3:01am

my sd’s would at meetup in shopping malls and stuff try to walk in front of me side by side to the stroller with our 2 toddlers in and rant on about bio mum to show my place is right at the bottom. 

On weekends in the early morning when you would still be asleep, they banged our bedroom door screaming for a non emergent emergency when we were having sex. There was never any respect for us or respect of our boundaries.

i put my foot down just over a year ago that i will no longer be subjected to miniwives. I am and never will be beneath them... 

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Thu, 09/26/2019 - 2:26pm

If you ever walk away from this marriage you'll walk away a stronger, smarter and resilient woman. In all the bad, you have learned so many lessons in all this.

Resilience is necessary for a warrior!

StepperLife's picture

Submitted by StepperLife on Thu, 09/26/2019 - 6:07pm

I don’t want to walk away because he’s all I’ve known. He’s the father to my children. He provides. And when he loves he loves hard. 

I want to walk away because I feel as though I will never add up to SD and BM. I know I shouldn’t have to. I feel inadequate as a wife when his pride gets in the way. I feel as though I’m a bad mother because although I put this marriage first I feel I will be failing them if this marriage does not work. 

I want to walk away but yet I don’t. Not sure how to act on it. Even with his empty threats of “it’ll never work” or “last” if I don’t make a relationship with SD. 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 09/26/2019 - 2:31pm

Sad letter - Im sorry you have been and are going through this!

Sending virtual hugs today. Just know that this will get better, with your actions.