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Officially Broken Up

stepkate's picture

Submitted by stepkate on Tue, 08/10/2010 - 5:51am

I know that it was the right thing, but for some reason I just couldn't do it myself. BF and I talked yesterday, and he started the conversation by asking me if I was happy. I took about, er, 15 minutes to think of a good way to say 'no' and he said that he hadn't been happy either.

My sublease ends this month, and I'll admit that in the back of my mind, I was thinking that I was going to move back in with him.

I don't know, this is my first relationship, so I don't know how to do break-ups, I guess. I know that this is a good thing for me, and I never really felt secure in this relationship after the first couple of months. Theres just so much to do now-work is busy, I have to find somewhere to live and actually move there, and I want this grieving process to be over yesterday. I have the money to live on my own, and I've been single long enough where I think I know how to be alone, but...it was nice to have someone, even if it was the wrong one. It was nice hearing 'I love you'.

I guess I'm a little sad, a little scared, and a little lonely.

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Tue, 08/10/2010 - 8:08am

I'm sorry you're sad & hurting. However, knowing yourself that this was not a good relationship for you to be in will help you through the healing process. StepAside had a good message about taking what you've learned in this relationship & applying those things in your next relationship. You really do seem to be handling this well. Take some time to relax & do for yourself. ((((hugs))))

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Tue, 08/10/2010 - 8:22am

Look, honey, I've been through the mill with relationships. Stayed in a couple way too long because I was insecure and tried to "fix" them. Basically I sold myself short. Take some time to think about what YOU want, visualize it, decide what you want in a man. And then, believe that you deserve it! (key for me). After I did all this, I met the love of my life, a real partner and friend! By the way, stay in touch!

Synaesthete's picture

Submitted by Synaesthete on Tue, 08/10/2010 - 9:15am

Oh no, Kate, I am so sorry to hear. Sad Just know that it takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing and you are handling it marvelously, despite how painful I'm sure it is. It gets easier. Stay strong and keep us updated.

All the best. -hugs-

stepkate's picture

Submitted by stepkate on Tue, 08/10/2010 - 9:43am

Yeah, I think I'm putting on the brave face at this point, but there are moments when it hurts a lot and I'm not sure what to do.