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just complaining

smom1007's picture

I live in New York. It's pretty nice here for a November day, but there's something really WRONG about sending my SD to school in her choice of sandals or flip-flops because her parents can't get their acts together.

Ever since it started to get colder, Biomom has been pitching a fit that she wants all the coats at her house. She NEEDED the beige coat with the fake furry collar because "it is the warmest." Is it warmer than the fake suede one that looks just like it? Or the black one with the white furry collar? Is it warmer than the purple puffer with the hood? Or the long dark purple coat? Or the pink puffer?

We had no coat to send SD back to Biomom's house in this weekend because none had come back to us from the previous three weekend. At that time, we also knew SD had no shoes left at our house except a pair of black Mary Janes that are too small. Those were the shoes she wore home. Yesterday she arrived from her grandma's in the "warmest coat" and a pair of slippers. So today she could either wear slippers, flip-flops or sandals to school.

The whole walk to school, SD told us about how her feet were wet and there was sand in her shoes. Luckily she was just observing and not complaining--otherwise I might have lost my temper. I understand there are other things going on in BF and Biomom's lives that demand attention, but shouldn't clothing your child appropriately be a priority? It seems easy enough considering how many clothes SD has. Biomom: Put it in a bag, hand the bag over when BF comes to pickup child. BF: Don't leave with child unless you also have a bag of coats and shoes.

Comments

Anne 8102's picture

I'm in CT and it's pouring down the rain and in the fifties. I agree with you... it should be as simple as handing over a bag. Jeez!

~ Anne ~

Dawn-Moderator's picture

I guess they just don't THINK!! I have a similar problem with stepson's BM here too. She's not going to change so we are just going to have to do the best we can.

Dawn

Candice's picture

Before I came into the picture, every time my dh picked up his son from his ex's house, he always got him barefoot. And everytime he would send his son home, he would go home with a pair of shoes. Then on the next visit, the same thing. Then as he got older, it was a jacket. I remember picking him up in 30 degree weather in a tshirt, and when my dh asked "where is his jacket?" her response was for us to buy him another one.

I know why my dh didn't put up a fight...it was cheaper for him emotionally, to just go buy shoes, then to look at the anger in his ex's face and deal with her hostility.

It's just plain crazy to me. This week is ss's birthday, and his party is Friday. BM is pulling plans for a party out of thin air, and she says she wants us to pay for the more expensive part of bday party...we don't even put up a fight...we just pay for it..and let it go...(I never have a beef with providing a bday party for ss, or even paying for the expensive part of it..we do make more than her..it's just how she goes about it, no plans, everything at last minute, no invites for dad's side of fam, and very little communication to us..)

Sometimes parents are just so selfish, it just amazes me

Dawn-Moderator's picture

There are just so many similarities to all of these stories. We went through the same things when we would pick up stepson(back when she had custody)! How could someone send their child out like that? No matter who was picking them up.
It seems that these people all have the same screw loose!

Dawn

Candice's picture

You know, I could never deprive my son to punish someone else! I just don't get it...

Tomorrow night is our ss's bday party. My dh is taking the boys (3-13 yrs olds) to lazer tag, and bm is dropping off one, and said she was going to go to the mall to hang out b/c she has a 4 year that she didn't want to chase around the lobby of lazer tag. Without even thinking, I totally invited her over to my house to sit and wait until we all head out to pizza at 8:30. I too have a young one that I don't want to chase around the lobby either. That is what grown adults do, you work together to provide for these kids and help each other along the way. I just couldn't imagine being so immature, and so selfish that my kid was going barefoot or without a jacket all the time.

You're right Dawn...they all have the same exact loose screw bouncing around in their head!!!