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Creative PAS

PoisonApples's picture

BM gets PAS in every way she can think of.

We have to bring specific complaints to court and have it written in the CO that she can't do this or that specific behaviour, as in she is prohibited from discussing emotions when she calls skids.

Well, she's getting more creative.

This weekend when she called I heard SD5 telling her questioning SD5 about whether SD5 had spent any time making cards and pictures for her. We had this problem a couple of years ago, when the kids would return home she'd cry if they hadn't spent their time with us making little things for her to show her they missed her. She'd make them feel guilty for hurting her feelings and not thinking about her while they were gone. It stopped for a long time because she was busy making trouble about passports and other things but apparently it's started up again.

SD5 was very upset about mommy's hurt feelings and promised mommy she would draw pictures and make card that I 'I love you and I miss you' that she would bring home the next day. After the call SD5 asked dad if he would help her make mommy some pictures and dad told her no, it was bedtime. The next day SD5 asked again but we were busy and dad said no. When we returned SD5 went and drew pictures then asked SD8 to write 'I love you mommy, I miss you' on the cards.

My initial response would be to shake my head at the incompetence that is their mother and let it go. However, this bitch has withheld access for months at a time over nothing and she can't be trusted. Court is coming up where we are asking to have her phone calls cut down to one per week. She is arguing that the kids miss her so much and are miserable without her so she should be able to call as often as she wishes. I think she's trying to get these cards as 'proof' that the kids miss her.

The truth is that they don't miss her. They almost never mention her except for right after the phone calls. To hear BM tell it they spend the entire time with us crying for her. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So, SO had to be the bad guy and tell SD5 that she could not take the pictures home to mommy. It's not ideal, we don't want to be like that but what choice do we have? I know that technically, not letting SD5 draw pictures for mommy and take them home is also PAS. Does it count though when the only reason they were being done in the first place was because of PAS from the BM?

Comments

PoisonApples's picture

I think he was a bit brusque, which is why it's still on my mind. He said 'No SD5 you don't take things from here over to mommy's'.

In the past I've waited for skids to set things down and then I've 'misplaced' them so they wouldn't see them again when it was time to go. That worked well but we are just now seeing this problem again after a break of more than a year.

If BM is true to form she'll push this to it's limits.

How did your 5 days of silence go?

starfish's picture

i agree, bm just wants "proof"! she probably has all these pictures and cards stuffed in a file folder labeled "SCREW SO OVER" and not proudly displayed on the fridge ~ BITCH!

PoisonApples's picture

Well, I'm sure that's what she wants but she hasn't gotten anything from this house in years.

I taught now DD8 to read when she was 5 and sent her home with the first book she ever read on her own. I thought mommy dearest would be proud, maybe let the child read the book to her. No, mommy made comments about how the book was rubbish - it was Dr. Seuss's Hop On Pop - and threw the book away. A few weeks later we got the child a watch and BM tossed that away too. Since then we haven't sent ANYTHING to her house.

Holly's picture

Looks like you have to get creative yourself in 'losing' the pictures or 'forgetting' to put them in her going home bag. Maybe encourage her to do 'happy' pictures of what she has been doing with PA so mommy knows how much fun she has! }:)

PoisonApples's picture

Yeah, I've done that in the past.

This time the child was clutching onto them for dear life. I had watched her for an hour thinking she'd put them down and I could accidentally pick them up and misplace them but it didn't happen.

Thing is, BM is going to step it up and make this huge, she always does.

caregiver1127's picture

What a sad world we live in when you try to use your 5 year old daughter to fuck over your Ex - she should be locked up and the key thrown away - what are all of these BM's doing to the children of the world - I would let nothing get taken back to her mother - this is so gross that you have to constantly be on high alert for this kids of BS - I am so sorry PA - this stuff can drive a person crazy!!

PoisonApples's picture

Yeah, I don't get it either.

My concern was always that my child be happy, first and foremost.

This crazy bitch actually prefers that her children be sad and miserable. She's shown time and time again that them being unhappy when away from her is, to her, a sign of what a great mother she is. She sets them up to be unhappy. If they show any sign of having fun she makes them feel bad.

The history of phone calls is appalling!

Here is a sample - word for word - I am not exaggerating AT ALL:

BM: Hi SD7. How are you getting on with Daddy?
SD7: I'm having the time of my life.
BM - very icy cold voice: That's nice. Put your sister on.
SD5: Hi mommy
BM: Hi honey. I know YOU miss me, don't you. YOU are a good girl. I know it's hard being at daddy's away from me, just be as strong as you can. Keep your chin up and you'll get through it.

jesses girl's picture

Personally, I'd help SD5 make BM a card. Inside the card, I'd be sure SD put a list of all the fun things she did with you and DH while she was with you! }:)

I might eben be saucy and include a picture of SD with you and DH in a big group hug! }:)

That'll learn the bitch!

they8ntmine's picture

I'm sorry PA what a PITA!!!

I agree with Jessies Girl and do a card that way.

Make the front I miss Mommy but..... the inside says look at all the fun I had with PA and daddy }:)