She has been talking to someone regarding these issues for some time now actually, but nothing helps. She still says the same thing she has for three years, she wants me gone, she wants her dad and mom back together and she will do whatever it takes to make me leave. Her father and mother finally told her this would never ever happen, even if they were the last people on this earth.

I believe you are correct about her not getting enough attention from her mother, although we cannot force her to see her daughter. There is no reason her mother cannot see her everyday if she wanted, as we bought a house about 6 blocks from hers about a year ago so she could see her more often, this did not help. The funny thing is that she acts just like her mother (flies off the handle at everything, screams and throws things) and we truly believe her mother has metal issues.

Her mother told us if she acted up to call her and she would talk to her, so I tried that only to be screamed at by her saying that I need to trust her daughter. I told her, her daughter had lied and cheated in school and that when asked about it she lied to me as well as her grandfather about it. This only made bio mom yell at me more, so I finally had to hang up on her.

I actually thought that after sometime that things would get better, but that has not been the case. She back talks to everything I say, she screams and cries and throws things for hours on end, she lies about everything (even the smallest stuff). I have almost called the police several times because she was so out of control, and I am the only one here with her after school until 6:30.

I feel bad but I do not believe I should be treated like this; I deserve to be treated with respect not contempt. I do everything a mother would do for this child and almost everyday I think I would rather have both arms and legs slowly broken then wake up and deal with this child another day.

I feel like I have won a million dollars anytime her mother takes her for the weekend, then Sunday will come and I feel like I want to run away, because as soon as she walks into the door she is back at it within 5 minutes.

We tried having her pick weeds, pick up trash from parks, take her toys away and earn them back, put her in her room, write sentences, put her in a corner and about a million other things and nothing works. If she has to pick weeds she screams until the neighbors come over and traffic stops on the rode, if she has to write sentences she only does 10 then says her wrist is killing her and she tears up the paper throws things and screams for hours and hours and hours and will break every pencil and ripe ever paper we give her to start over with. If we put her in the corner she tries to punch holes in the wall, scrapes paint off the doorframes and falls to the floor kicking and screaming until you feel like you head is going to explode. If you take her toys and everything away (boxed up and out of her room) she does not stop until you want to die.

I know I keep going on and on, but at least for the moment ranting and raving like this makes me feel a little better. If anyone has any ideas that I have not mentioned please help. I want my happy marriage back, and although my husband and I are wonderful together this is without a doubt putting a huge strain on us. We used to do romantic stuff and do fun things, now we just climb in bed and let the world pass us by. My husband does not even want to come home from work let alone call me on the way home to see how things are going.

ohmygosh

Thank you all so much for writing. I think the only person she would end up hurting physically is me, she is tall and big for her age and is only 10lbs less than me. We think she needs to be put on medication as well, but there has been no mention that she needs to be from the counselor. At one time we actually looked into boot camp for kids, but there are none in Florida now, and that appeared to be too harsh. I think I will talk to the counselor again and if nothing changes take her to a medical doctor and find out if medication is something she needs.

I told my husband that something has to be done (not later, but now) and with him working from 7:45 and not getting home until after 6:30 everyday except weekends, he told me I would have to take care of it. Her Bio Mother said she didn't have the time to take care of any of this either, so I am left with the job. I tend to get upset with this as I’m not her parent and I am faced with all the problems while her parents get to go to work while I deal with the problems. I work from home, so this puts me in the position where I have to play mom.

Anyways thank you all for your help and please keep in touch as I can always use suggestions and help. God do I ever need help!
LOL!