You are here

Need Help and Advice (suicide trigger warning)

Oh Margie's picture

Submitted by Oh Margie on Wed, 09/18/2019 - 7:07pm

I used to be a fairly active member a few years ago. Found my way out of Step Hell but I still read the forums almost daily. You have all always  been a wonderful source of wisdom for me. 
And now I have a problem. My issue in my relationship was not my stepdaughters, it was my ex. He was emotionally abusive and our break up was ugly and horrendous. However, I have been blessed enough to still have my ex stepdaughter’s in my life. They are both wonderful lovely fabulous young women. I have no children of my own and I will always feel as though they are mine in some way. 

I just had a conversation with BM and found out that my younger ex stepdaughter, 17, tried to kill herself last week, for the second time. I am heartbroken and panicked. She is such an absolute soft hearted wonderful girl and I am desperate to help her in someway. She no longer has any contact with her father which I am sure is a source of her pain.

Can anyone give me any advice? I plan to reach out to her this evening, but I feel completely adrift. I want so desperately to help her.

Comments

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 09/19/2019 - 12:41am

The relationship you have with them makes them yours.  My only advice is to let YSD know that you are there for her and that she is loved.   There is nothing you can do or say regarding her father. Just speak from your heart and let her know how special she and her sister are to you.

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

Submitted by DHsfamilyfromhell on Thu, 09/19/2019 - 7:48am

I am going to look at it from a more practical angle for you. It must be deeply distressing for everyone and I’m sorry you are all experiencing this.

Hopefully bio mum has arranged counselling/drs for this young lady. Rags is correct- letting her know she is loved will help tremendously. 

Occasionally also therapies such as cognitive behavioural  therapy can help in terms of how to handle distress ( alongside or instead of medication). - but this is a subject to bring up with bio mum at a later date, and not if you would be overstepping the mark. 

Suicide can be a way of avoiding deep distress that one does not have a coping strategy for.  

 

ReginaPhalange's picture

Submitted by ReginaPhalange on Thu, 09/19/2019 - 10:20am

I'm sorry you are going through this.  I'm dealing with something similar.  I agree with the others, just show her support and let her know you love her.