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Never in my life have I wanted to backhand someone so much!!!!

namaste123's picture

I feel bad for saying that, but I am so mad I am seeing red! :jawdrop: I could not believe what came out of my 6year old soon to be stepson. We always get along, I treat them more nicely than I should. The other day we were sitting down to play a game, and he started saying, "Only babies read direction" over and over when I sat down to read them before playing. I didn't give it much thought and just said, "No honey, smart people read the directions."

Fine, I ignored him, no big deal. He then proceeded to say, "Your face isn't even pretty!!!!" OMG!!!! I saw red, I wanted to smack him in his face. I also wanted to say "NEITHER IS YOUR MOTHER'S", cuz, (it's not). I was irate! Told him how rude he was, and that he would not talk like that to any adult or talk like that in my house, and put him to bed. Now I can't even look at my fiance. People do tell me I'm pretty, but I do have some acne scars from my teen years and have some insecurity issues over it. This really upset me! Just the other day I was plucking my eyebrows when this same child asked what I was doing, and I told him and when he asked why, I said so I would look pretty. His reply was "You're pretty without doing that."

I'm wondering if kids come up with this on their own or perhaps is this something their mother said.

Comments

Whateva's picture

Namaste
Don't let it bother you. Like you observed kids are fickle....as well as cruel at times!

Be confident in yourself and don't let a snot nose kid set the bar on how you feel about yourself.

Good luck

Whateva

overit2's picture

he could have heard it from his mom-BUT kids DO say insensitive things to us adults/parents. My own kids have said things that hurt my feelings-at age 6 the filter isn't fully developed sadly Smile

You are right to be offended-but don't take it too personally-take is a teaching moment to explain about being nice to other people and about respecting others feelings, etc. Kids can be cruel, sometimes unintentionally-sometimes intentional. It's up to teh parents to correct them and guide them and SHOW them to care for others feelings and be respectful.

happymostly's picture

aww im sorry Sad I think he was just being a brat. My sd is 6 as well and if she ever said anything like that to me, or anyone else, she would be sent to bed as well. Try to cheer up, this is a six year old we're talking about, he doesnt really know what he's talking about, I think you did the right thing. Have your fiance explain to him why you do not say those cruel things to people, he will meet plenty of people who are different from him and he needs to learn how to behave.

namaste123's picture

I sent him to bed because we were having some trouble with him all day. He hit his dad earlier even after he was told not to, he blatently would not listen several times earlier when told to do something, and he snatched things away from his dad earlier that day, so it just kept building up. I had to walk away at a soccer game when he threw himself on the ground and would not get up. Sad

June's picture

I'm sorry he said that to you and I don't think you freaked out. I think you handled it very well. I'm sure he dosent know what he is talking about especially at 6. My SS13 STILL says insensitive things to me and others. He is still learning what is rude and what is ok to say. I don't know about you but at his age I certainly knew if what I was saying was straight up rude or not. Kids today aren't so swift on the uptake when it comes to that. Chin up, your beautiful !

SteppingUp's picture

He's at the age where he's learning to manipulate. You corrected him prior to the nasty comment, which was a blow to his ego, so he thought he'd get back at you. And unfortunately, this showed him how to hurt you in the future...if he ever says anything like that again I'd tell him WHY it's inappropriate to say things like that to people and then move on like you weren't hurt by the comment. Have a discussion about feelings later. That way he might not think that he "got" to you and that his little manipulation didn't work!

overit2's picture

True...never said otherwise...hence why I said it can be a teaching moment. I also think there's a balance in letting them know they can get to you..especially as the relationship is developing. A simple correction from BOTH if they were both there should suffice.

namaste123's picture

I think it was not wise for me to let him know that "it got to me", I can see that comming back to haunt me. Dad was not there when the incident happened, he came home after SS6 was put to bed. He walked in the childs room after he got back and SS6 started to tell him what was going on. I walked in and said that it was more appropriate to speak with me first regarding the issue. We talked and my BF said that he felt the child was "acting out" because he was not getting enough attention. WTF? We just spent the day with them at the pumpkin patch, and when the child said the nasty stuff, we were just sitting down to play a game of Uno together!!!

Couldawouldashoulda's picture

(Insert music here)....You are beeeeutifuuul, you are beeeeutifuul (In that guy singing who sounds like a girl voice)(insert music here)

Hope it gotcha laughin! Biggrin

namaste123's picture

LOL Biggrin

Nette5's picture

My story:

I was sitting down to brush SD's(then9) hair and she says to me: "My mom says that you can grow a beard longer than my dad". That one about killed me because, yes, I do have facial hair. I tried the laser hair removal (6 sessions when it should only take 3) and it didn't work.

My immediate response was basically: That is why it is important to look on the inside of people. We cannot control how we look, but we can control how we treat others. I cannot change my 'beard', SS (brother) cannot control that his BM's eyes are 2 different colors, and your mom cannot change that her eyes look two different directions. We all have things that we cannot change about ourselves.

It still hurts to think about it, but I try hard to make sure my 'beard' doesn't get too noticeable, especially when I do something that involves the children. It has gotten worse over the years, but there isn't anything I can do about it.

mommylove's picture

Just the other day my BS6 told me I have a "fat belly like I'm having another baby" then proceeded to start dancing around and singing a made-up song "fat fat belly" (repeat)!

Did this hurt? SURE it did! I am very sensitive about my weight right now and have been since I had BS1. As a matter of fact, I'd just bought an elliptical a few days prior and began a new exercise routine to get in shape because I'm tired of my "fat fat belly"! LOL!

My response to BS6 was simply to tell him that this was not a very nice thing to say and told him if it didn't feel nice when kids at school called him names (no specific incident, but I was sure they did since they all pretty much do this) then he shouldn't do that to others, and that was it.

To be honest though, I know my child and I know that he really was not intending to hurt my feelings but rather that he was just making an uncensored observation. I also chose to focus on the MANY times that BS6 has complimented my appearance by saying "mommy you look pretty" or something like that just out of blue rather than the rare occasions like this one. However, I CAN understand how you feel because I remember a friend of mine's little daughter said something mean about my eyes (something that's pure genetics that I did not create and cannot change) and I was SO PISSED - I wanted to slap that little girl right in her mouth - something my mom would've done to me when I was little had I said something like that to one of her friends!

overit2's picture

Yep mommylove..I've had preggo comment from my own biokids..and I'm really only about 20lbs overweight.

Even the other day I was having a diet coke -i normally don't drink sodas..and my 9yr old said..you're on a diet mom? Finally!

WTH??? I just glared at him-he immediately apologized and admitted that was mean and rude.

But...yeah, kids do these things-and we take a moment to teach them about respecting others...and THEN we remind them over and over until..well, I guess it never ends Smile