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Why do BM's favor one over the other????

mumzy79's picture

OK so this PISSED ME OFF soo bad! I cannot believe the things some mothers say to their kids. It has been obvious since day one the BM favors SS STB7 over SS STB6. I have no idea why and she has openly admitted that she doesn't really like SS STB6. He looks just like DH and so I assume that is why. As a BM myself, I understand that you may get along easier with one kid, but to blatantly make one feel so much more "special" than the other is beyond me. I haven't posted in awhile mainly because I have learned that BM's antics will not ever change so I mainly learn to ignore her silly antics. DH and I have been together for 3 years and BM is on her 5th live in and currently preggo with #5 (my skids are #1 and #2). We just recently left court AGAIN literally 2 weeks shy to the day of the last filing for Sole Legal/Physical Custody. On the stand the only "reason" she could say is that they should be with her over Summer (we have 5 weeks) because she stays home and they would have to be with me. Even the judge said to her, "I assume you leave your kids with your fiance, so why shouldn't he leave skids with "Mumzy79?" Anyway, Judge dismissed hearing and basically said he didn't want to see us again for a long time. So we have gotten our normal dose of stupidity and infiltration and basically wanting to know every ounce of our daily life. I have sadly become used to this. On Sunday she spoke with SS STB7 for 10 minutes or so - 2 minutes into conversations with SS STB6, she had to make lunch and then got off phone. Anyway, today I was making dinner and working on teaching SS STB6 to read, letter sounds etc when SS STB7 came up and announced "I am smarter than SS STB6, that's what BM told me!" My heart sank. This is not the first comment along these lines. How on earth can you say such a thing? Anyway I talked to SS STB7 and explained he has had school and SS STB6 has not and he is not smarter, you are just older YA DA YA DA. The look on my poor skids face. It was heartbreaking. Truth is, Bm so showers SS STB7 with attention it might be true. The difference between the two is very noticeable. It is certainly not for genetic intelligence. She does nothing with SS STB6. Anyway, vent over, just astounded.

Comments

mumzy79's picture

Me too! I even treat my kids friends as my own when they are here. My Mom treated us all the same and tried to foster our individual talents.

astepmom's picture

I think BM does it to my skids to ENSURE that she has her biggest fan right were she wants him. (She also favors her oldest kid.) She showers him w/ gifts, attention, crazy parental alienation tactics, and everything she can. It creates this perception that those two are SOOOOOOO close. So that DH can never really get between them...

The crazy thing is, it also kind of makes the younger one even more crazy about BM. He wants the favoritism so bad, that he constantly fights for it. Mows the lawn for her, does chores all day long, complies with every request cheerfully, while his brother sits and stares at the video games.

It IS astounding.

stormabruin's picture

I've noticed that any pics BM posts on her FB or MS pages, she labels the kids as "My Beautiful Angel SD" & My son SS. She always talks about what a blessing SD is in her life, but rarely mentions SS. He was her first child!!! What message does that send to him???