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OT just curious, fundraising?

luchay's picture

Ok, so my dd10(stb11) has been invited to take part in a dance troupe that will be performing at Disneyland in the parade next September. They also get to dance at Universal Studios and take part in 3 exclusive workshops with top US dance teachers.

(to put this in perspective we are in Melbourne Australia)

We (the dance school) are setting up all kinds of fundraising activities to help cover the costs (each child that goes must be accompanied by an adult, obviously siblings will have to come - how could you not? So - say for my family it will be ddstb11, dd7, OH and I - quite costly - you get the picture)

Someone (ok my ex, and dd's bio dad) just told me that it is unreasonable to expect other people to pay for our "holiday"

So.....

My question is..... Is it unreasonable to hold raffles, walkathons, crazy hair days at school (school jumped on board with no problems) to help send a dance troupe for this amazing experience?

How many people see it the way my ex does (I shouldn't be surprised, he is a negative nelly and does not consider dance a sport or the dancers as athletes)

These kids are GOOD, REALLY GOOD.

Comments

ltman's picture

Your ex is a very sad little man. Of course it's ok to hold fundraisers for that. Since you guys are performing I hope the park is giving food vouchers and free park entry.

sunny_skies's picture

wow that is so awesome!!! your DD must be sooo excited! Biggrin

About your ex saying people shouldn't "pay for your holiday" oh dear, I really hope for DD's sake that her dad didn't say that in front of her?

And I really hope he is able to muster up at least some kind of enthusiasm for DD.. I loved dance when I was a kid, and my goodness, if I had been involved in something like this, my own dad would be so proud and telling everyone that would listen about the achievement, and his daughters talents!!

I think him viewing a "fund raiser" as "paying for" is kinda messed up honestly, in my opinion, fund raiser type activities, like crazy hair days etc are FUN! people take part if they want to, donate if they want to, donate how much  they want to. In a fund raiser it is a CHOICE as to what you want to do/ not do/ how much to put in. It's FUN! maybe you should say to your ex "that's why it's spelled FUNd raiser" lol 

..oh and if he's going to continue to be silly about it, maybe you could lighten the mood by doing a Donnie Darko, and say to him in a dramatic voice "sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion" just to see the look on his face hahaha ok sorry just being silly now!!

I reckon a fund raiser is a great idea, just ignore your ex, if he doesn't get it, he doesn't get it. No reason to get agitated by his lack of enthusiasm and excitement for your DDs achievement.

Disneyfan's picture

What does he have an issue with, the trip or the fundraising?

I hate most fundraisers (gift wrap, small packs of candy for $10...)

I would rather pay out of pocket than to keep hitting up family and friends to buy tickets, candy,dinners, get their car washed...

People just get sick of all the fundraising (school, church, sports and scouts).

B22S22's picture

My son is on a travel sports team and they're EXPENSIVE! Fund raisers help, but I agree with DisneyFan, lots of people get burned out on them. I refuse to have my DS13 go knocking door to door every other week for another fund raiser. His team chooses two fundraisers and anything else is up to the parents to do on their own time. Note that these fundraisers are not door-to-door things -- they're in a public place set up so anyone driving by can participate (BBQ and car wash) or not.

I also agree that your Ex is just being a downer -- these things kids do can sometimes be great experiences for them (last year my DS13 played in a HUGE metropolitan area -- which is a big deal since we live in the sticks -- got to do a little sight-seeing between games).

ETA: for my son's travel sport, any money raised goes towards his fees only. When he travels, I have to pay my own way.

Jsmom's picture

I think for the dance troupe it is fine to do a fundraiser, for your families airfare and housing, HELL NO!

luchay's picture

Bio-dad is NOT saying fundraising is to only be for dd not the rest of the family, he is implying it is wrong for ANY of us to fundraise for what he sees as a family vacation.

luchay's picture

No, it's NOT a family vacation. DD has been given this wonderful opportunity to do a once in a lifetime thing - it is the same as any other sporting event. The fundraising is for that alone and NOT for the rest of the family to accompany her.

His attitude is that her being asked is "no big deal" and he is not acknowledging her achievements or effort, or giving her any credit etc. She works damn hard - 10+ hours a week and this IS a special deal for her.

So him negating HER in all of this as well as implying (as you are) that I am only doing it for the "free trip" is quite horrible. WE (as in OH and I) will be paying for him, me and dd7. Why would ANY of us want to miss the chance to see ddstb11 dance in the parade - I am so excited for her (call me crazy!)

I actually (stupidly - I DO know the man) thought he may even attempt to come over himself to see this - but NO, he has to make it small and mean.

luchay's picture

So you think the accompanying adult should also be included in the fundraising?

We (the dance school parents involved) have debated over that as I guess if it were a more local thing not all the parents would go, there would be a number of adults required for supervision but not a 1-1 spread IYKWIM? We had come down on the side of fundraising at this stage is JUST for the troupe, and we are planning to revisit it later IF we raise that much that there is a significant amt over. To decide whether a portion of those extra funds can be allocated to the designated accompanying adult.

(Hopefully you can all see from this that we are not just money grabbing to pay for a freebie trip LOL)

Disneyfan's picture

Wait, who are they raising money to cover? I figured the money raised would be for the dancers.

Why would you fundraise for a family trip??? :?

luchay's picture

Ok, I typed a reply before but it's gone Sad

Sorry I guess the OP was unclear - the fundraising is to help pay ONLY for the troupe - the dancers.

As stated in the OP we are coming from MELBOURNE AUSTRALIA - so Disneyland is pretty much a once in a lifetime thing. Hence the siblings comment, and as stated the organisers require that every child has an accompanying adult whether they are dancers or spectators. So the costs for each family are big. So we are fundraising to cover hopefully ALL the costs for at least the dancers to ease the burden on the families.

Any extra funds raised will go to the dance school and NOT be paying for other people on the trip.

My skids will not be coming - their mother decided (after hearing of dd's selection for this trip) to take them to the US for 18 days just this last June - they did the West Coast including Disneyland and Universal Studios. She did me a favour actually, now I don't have to feel bad for not taking them with us Wink

luchay's picture

Smile Yes, the dance school already has all the community group fundraising permits in place so we can raffle etc away to our hearts content Smile

We are having a raffle like you mention to coincide with the end of year concert - I am in the process of doing the donations phone calls LOL

Then early next year (March) I will run another raffle which is through a F/R company where the prize is a trip for 4 to Qld (think Miami ish I guess kind of place), we are having a trivia night with silent auction (yes again yours truly LOL) And a few other minor things - dance nights, walk-a-thon, movie nights etc.

I think it's really important for the kids to be part of it too - the walk-a-thon etc, not just the parents paying for movie nights (I don't see much point in them - costs me $20 each time LOL I may as well put that into my own savings acct.)