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Advice and thoughts needed/wanted

just_tired's picture

My skids haven't seen their mom since November, because of numerous reasons. Couple of the reasons are one she is court ordered to have supervised visitation at a parenting center or her mom can and she was in jail from middle of December to the middle of February.

She is back in jail and the kids want to see her because they haven't seen her in about 4 months. We are planning on taking the kids to see her Sunday at the County Detention Center. Has anyone ever had to do this? What are your thoughts on it?

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just_tired's picture

I have called, as long as there is an adult with the children they can go. It's between a glass on a phone, so no contact.

just_tired's picture

I did feel the same way but seeing how much they miss her and how badly they want to see she's physically okay has changed my mind a little. I'm so torn. I have told them how it's gonna be and that they are not going to be able to hug, touch or kiss her and they all say they still want to go.

momandmore's picture

This is a tough one! It's great that you've already done the research on the place Smile
I personally wouldn't want my kids to see me like that but if the kids want to see her and she's ok with it, I think you're doing the right thing Smile

just_tired's picture

She is back in jail because she violated her release on bail, her criminal trial is set for April 21 and she still has 4 to 5 other misdemeanor cases open. We have a feeling they are going to throw the book at her, so she's looking at 1 to 5

just_tired's picture

Thank you sharing this link, I feel better about how honest we have been with the kids. I don't want them to ever think we lied or hid anything from them.

MommyNotMommy's picture

A friend of mine is doing this with her SDs. But they were removed from their mother's custody as she went to jail so they were very attached, and I know that swayed their (her and hubby's) decision. Personally I think they made the right call. The girls needed to see their mom after she disappeared. She'll be in for 1-5 too.

The older girl (13) took it well. She was angry, mostly.

The younger one (9 at the time) didn't. She cried for hours. It was a lot for her to take in. I still think they made the right call, but it was very hard for her.

just_tired's picture

BM just lost custody a year ago when she attempt suicide. Before that DH was a couple nights during the week and EOW. The kids are 10, 8 & 7, I am so torn on what's right.

just_tired's picture

The last time she was in there we were planning on taking them because she said something and so did the kids, but her BF bailed her out before we went

just_tired's picture

She was bailed out last month and violated so that's why she's back in. Her trial is on her criminal/felony charge of 3rd assault on an officer. She just happens to still have 4 to 5 other misdemeanors still open.

just_tired's picture

Thank you all for your thoughts and advice. I spoke to the oldest 2 last night and they finally came out and said they do not want to go and I agree.

So we will not be visiting dear BM in the poky.