NSMR this is the worst trip ever

My company decided to send all of us to Cancun for a conference. Seems great right... wrong. They let everyone bring their spouses at a discount. Great right.... unless your spouse can't go. I'm stuck here by myself. Everyone has their cliques and I'm not part of the clique. See I'm mostly behind the scenes on a team of 3. My co-worker made the right choice and said nope he wasn't going. My other co-worker has his wife here so that is a no go. Today I got assigned to a table with a bunch of people that already knew each other. I'm like the wedding guest that no one wants but is obligated to invite. Oh joy

I eat alone here and then get ignored by the wait staff. I would sit on my balcony and read but that overlooks the trash. Yep... the trash. I didn't expect an ocean view but I certainly didn't expect the trash view. Basically what we have is a crap ton of old men getting drunk while their wives sit at the pool getting drunk. I tried to lay at the beach but the chairs are all filled. The pool was even worse. I can't do any excursions since they won't let us off property because it's not safe.

I'm an introvert so this is like hell on earth. Tomorrows hell is a half day of meetings in which I will hear all about the great things everyone is doing all the while thinking yea you wouldn't be doing those things if it weren't for us in the background. I told DH at this point I'm nothing but an IT janitor. They make a mess I come in and clean up. Then there will be an awards dinner for awards I cannot win or be a part of

Just some advice for anyone in HR that plans these things....please try to remember not everyone is an extrovert. Please think about the poor souls that are the outliers. Because they will be like me...stuck in a hotel room alone feeling like they don't belong or matter.

right now I just want to go home.

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awe man!

Wish I was there.

We could either do shots together or we could read books together at whatever pool. Stake em out early with your towels, sunnnies and flip flops.

I would but I have to go the stupid meetings

And by the time we are done everything has been staked out by the spouses that don't have to go the meetings. Its mean girls corporate version.

Two weekends ago I took the kids to Disney

And then Megacon which is massive . I was just in a sea of people for days and I had to kick myself in my room for days to recover. I get you

Oh man, do you HAVE TO GO to

Oh man, do you HAVE TO GO to the meetings/awards ceremony?

Can you just go to the pool/beach when they are all there? I mean, why not?

Are there lounge areas at the resort where you are that you can ensconse yourself at with your book?

Movies on TV or on your device?

I would love to go to the pool or the beach

Trouble is. All the spuses stake out the chairs so there is literally no place to sit. I'm not about to stand in the pool by myself.

UGHH....there are 0 lounge areas here. I've been to Cancun before at an adults only resort. They had plenty of places to chill etc. This place has NONE.

I vacationed in Cancun on a

I vacationed in Cancun on a solo trip. Favorite thing I've ever done. Even though it's a "work" trip enjoy the alone time!

I would love it

If there was a place to sit. No where to sit and all you hear is shot shot shot. This is a 20 something party place. It's a Hard Rock resort. Ughhhhhhhh on so many levels

Hard rock seemed outdated. We

Hard rock seemed outdated. We stayed about 1/4mile from there in 2021. Walked by everyday. Hopefully you find some relaxing time before it's over!

Been there done that

When I started going to my old job's 911 software vendors conference, I felt like an alien. Chef didn't come to the first one which was in South Carolina. The vendors are big bar hoppers after the actual seminars finish. Something right up Chef's alley, but not something that would be my main thing. I didn't know anyone but a few from the 911 center. I was very new to the software and it was hard to follow most of it. I agree with the others-- head to the resort pool!

Chef came to the next one in Key West but I wondered what I had done to deserve it!

The next one was canceled due to Covid. Vendors come from NJ. Last one was in Nashville which Chef didn't go to. I'm not an extrovert either but I forced myself to meet the people and make conversation the first one I went to even though they were all "old pros" and knew each other-- which kinda paid off over the years.

Don't expect the attendees to be mentors or anything. They all talk a big game and say "we should have a users group" etc etc but I find it never pans out.

I would talk to people but they all have their cliques

So no one will talk to someone that isn't in their clique. The only reason I came was I didn't think it would look good for 2/3 of our team to refuse. So here I am.....

May have to grin

And bear it. My only saving grace was that the vendor/hosts were mostly my age (older) and brought up in an age were you were polite and had social skills (no screens other than the family tv set). This too will pass.

I am an introvert as well but

I am an introvert as well but I dont care for ppl. I can sit at a table and be ignored. I do attempt to make small talk but dont force it. If you are an introvert, being alone should feel amazing to you. I personally would advise to enjoy food and beverages and maybe see if they have spa services you can book at the hotel. If not, you should do your little skincare and self care routines and enjoy bed/tv/streaming all to yourself

If the pool is crowded, just ask the attendant to add an extra long chair for you. They prob wont mind. Or you can go outside of busy hours and sit at the sunset by the pool

What you are citing is just obstacles that you created in your mind to prevent you from enjoying yourself. Get out of your head and live for yourself:)

No advice - just sympathy! I would hate it as well.

No advice - just sympathy! I would hate it as well. It sounds awful. How soon can you come home?

Dang it!

Maybe....how much longer? I went to a conferance like that once. I made friends with a dog who was having the ball thrown to him by the owner's wife. It led to an amazing opportunity of being shown around and making friends with the locals. Look for the dog!! You will be out of there soon and will be glad to be home.

That sucks!

We just had a huge work meeting in a different location a few weeks ago. I'm actually pretty outgoing, but I absolutely hate walking into meeting rooms, lunches and dinners, and trying to decide where to sit. It puts me right back in high school. I have plenty of people I talk to, but I still feel that way, so I can just imagine when you work on a small team. At this meeting, my work BFF was slightly upset with me (rightfully so), so she was cordial but not trying to sit with me. I walked in and sat down awkwardly at the next table over that looked empty, not realizing a little clique of male asian IT guys already had set their stuff there, and they kind of just kept to themselves and didn't really talk to me. Absolutely awful.

I hope you are able to find some fun. Keep stalking those beach chairs. Or maybe you can put a towel on the beach and just read a book and have some drinks. There is almost always fun to be had at a swim-up bar, and you don't need to know anyone or really make an effort. It might be outside of your comfort zone, but it's worth a try and you never know, you may enjoy it!

I am sorry you are not enjoying the experience.

Accomodating large groups is never a satisfying or completely successful thing for the organizers. Someone is almost always not happy.

Groups are made up of individuals with nearly infinate differences.

I do have a question, which probably makes it obvious that I am not an introvert. What is the make up of a successful event for introverts, extroverts, single people, married people with their spouses, and married people without their spouses, etc...?

Though I am not an introvert, I observe people. When I am in a group where I am new, I watch.

That means that likely some of those I am watching will make me cringe, some I am watching will make me smile, some will make me shake my head, some will make me scratch my head, some might even make me laugh. See if you can find something that peaks your interest, create your own internal dialogue for what they are saying that augments what you are seeing them do. Kind of like the Mystery Science Theater 2000 pop up video show that creates different scripts for footage the characters are reviewing.

This is such a sad perspective. Don't be sad. You are a core and foundational part of a successful team.

I really am sorry you are finding this to be such a miserable experience.

Take care of you.

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NSMR this is the worst trip ever

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