Move now, before he gets legal to tell you not to move....

and I don't think he can stop you but I'm not sure...

You're not hoping to go anywhere for another five or more months. So why are you telling "mutual" friends your business? It's been a few months since he left and had made no efforts. You'd of had another five months to show his lack of desire and effort.

He can't stop you from moving, but yes, children are a different story. His one biggie against him currently is his non-desire to see his children and the legal going ons about his other son. No court would give him custody have two little girls full time in the same home as their potential (being investigated) molester.

Keep your mouth shut for a while and when the time nears closer you must contact a lawyer. If your mother has given you living expenses for five months, surely she'll help you with lawyer fees also. Per you, this man's cash is all wrapped up in CS to two different mothers. What makes you think he can hire a better lawyer than you to fight a move , especially considering he has no intentions of having anything to do with the younger kids?

If you want to move, move, but leave the kids with dad. Problem solved.

The fields of custody are being resurfaced. Just because he has not seen his kids (your words) doesn't mean he is doesn't want his children.

Why don't you call him and tell him YOU want to move but since the kids are established in current town he can have custody and YOU will have them 1/2 holidays 1/2 summers and pay child support?

Just move and deal with dad having custody. Your expenses will lower then.

You and the ex can use the same lawyer and draw up an easy custody agreement. OR you will end up in court, depleting what money you have to pay for lawyers.

Again since you want to move....move, but leave the kids with dad.

OP, contact an attorney asap. If you can't afford a private attorney, check into legal aid to see if you can get at least some advice moving forward. I understand you don't want your stbex having custody or visitation with your girls, but unless you find a way to prove what happened, he just might end up with weekends.

Seriously, contact an attorney and see what your legal options are. You should be able to find one if you look for a legal-aid type of office.

And do NOT contact your ex anymore. If you can prove that he has no intention of ever seeing the kids again, it will work in your favor. His silence is your ticket. The longer he goes without contacting you to see the kids, the better you'll be. Which actually shows that he doesn't have an attorney because if he did, the attorney would tell him to keep in touch and visit with the kids to help support his case. He's got nothing.

Check with your union rep if there is any help available for you with childcare, lawyer fees or other types of assistance.

Yes, it's possible he could prevent you from moving the children. It is quite likely that he could be given unsupervised visitation since there was no evidence that anything happened.

I'm not sure what this 250/month CS order is based on since you haven't gone through the court process... but perhaps when you do it will be increased.

The first thing you need to do is hire a lawyer to advise and represent you. You also should be documenting the fact that your DH has repeatedly told you and has not attempted to have any visitation. maybe... just maybe that could work in your favor.

Unfortunately, the courts are going to be more liable to think that children should maintain a relationship with both parents and assign value to that and be less likely to allow a move.

It takes nothing for a lawyer to serve you papers to keep you in town until they can prepare for a custody battle. DH served BM with these because she previously threatened to leave with SS and we'd never see him again. That's all it took for her to get served papers stating she was no longer allowed to leave the state with SS until the custody hearing. Send the kids, set up their enrollment for the new school and enroll them in some kind of fellowship whether it be soccer, dance, whatever. Start enveloping them in their new community with your mom.

I don' know if you mentioned it before but however way he told you he wasn't planning on seeing the children again needs to be printed or proven to the judge. You will probably have to subpoena that friend if he told it to them so they can tell the judge that he is only keeping you stuck here out of spite and not out of the interest of seeing the children.

My DH's ex moved his daughters 1400 miles away when the girls were 13 and 15. BM was instructed by the courts to not move the girls until the judge made a ruling. She moved anyway. She Skyped into the court hearing and the judge did nothing but tell her she had to pay airfare for the girls to see their father. Of course she did not pay a dime because she has never been self supporting. The judge also kept the child support order the same. There was also a guardian ad litem (GAL) involved and her "judgement" of DH and I couldn't have been more damning against us. It was awful.

The big move happened 6.5 years ago and they all still live 1400 miles away. DH's daughters are older now and really pissed at their mom for moving them 1400 miles away to a state that does not have the same quality of life standards as our state and away from their family and life long friends.

This is a free country. You can move if you want to move and let the chips fall where they may. You will not go to jail for moving. Your children will not be taken from you for moving. However, please look deep in your heart to determine why you want to move. Are you doing what's in the best interest of your children or what's in the best interest for you?

Is your STB exh saying he does not want to see the kids because of the accusations against his son? Or is there some other reason? Just wondering......

The court takes VERY seriously when a hint of child molestation occurs.

Isn't it true the allegations were unfounded? My point to that question is, there is a process of physical evidence that was ruled out, as well as specific interviews by the Doctor who performed tests on the child who came to the conclusion no abuse occurred.

It is not unreasonable for dad to keep his distance at this stage SINCE the abuse allegations were false. Dad would be foolish to get near OP.

There is more to this story than we are privy to. Additionally IF OP is a teacher in the public educational system she isn't making pennies. As I said there is more to this starting with back story from dad.

Fruit dh is not going to get sup visits because your abuse allegations were not confirmed. I WOULD be very careful and never over inflate the facts because you will be caught.

Oh good...ness! If this is the OP who...

1...had the SS that had a bully try to kill him and when SS defended himself this SM freaked and tried to get her SS out of the house because he defended himself too well.

2...kept blaming her SS for EVERY injury her 3-4 year old child received. And tried to get SS out of the house because of her DDs re occurring injuries.

3...kept leaving her DD alone with SS over and over and over again, so that he got blamed every time her baby got hurt so that she could get SS out of the house.

4...DD had a broken arm from falling off a trampoline unsupervised. (SS was blamed) Yyet she left SS alone with her DD and he was helping her wipe (something he had seen his Dad and this OP do) since he was the only one around and she needed help since her arm was broken.

5...Dr ruled no abuse happened.

I would never advocate a father leave his child for any reason but damn...this man is probably scared shitless of this poster and what she might do or say so he stays aways.

My guess is that he wants to block the move until he finds a way to prove she is batshit crazy and takes custody of the children. JMHO

He is probably trying to prevent you from moving so he doesn't have to pay more support. I'd advise you to talk to a lawyer asap. He hasn't seen them for months and doesn't want to see them until they're 18 so I'm not sure what grounds he has.

He does have the ability to stop you from movong the kids. However, you can claim hardship and get permission from the courts before you go. File first!! That is the key.