i am soooo fed up with my DH and his kids !!! After 10...yes 10 years....together and trying my best to keep him and his kids happy now i'm DONE. I will become "selfish" and start thinking only about MY kids and me !!
Why? because I finally had my suspicions confirmed in an e-mail.My DH left his mail open and i saw that his daughter(10) wrote to him that she really doesn't like me and that she cannot study if daddy dearest doesn't go back with mommy.she already had that fit a few months ago where she told him that she'll never go to school again if DH won't go back to BM.That kind of made me wonder: 1: is BM putting that in her head to get her ex back? 2: is there something going on between DH and BM that makes the daughter think that they'll get back together? I don't know. The only thing that he wrote back is that you don't always get what you wish for and that nobody is standing in her way to study. I just wished he stood up for me more.
I had so many arguments/fights with DH about all this and more.I told him that the only thing I ask for is respect from both him and his kids. I gave my husband permission 10 years ago when we got married that he can act like a father-figure to my biokids; meaning if they do something wrong you tell them and act on it.In 10 years I could never say anything to his kids when they were at our house if they were being bad or plain lazy 'cause they would tell their mom that I was mean and my husband says I'm overreacting and just picking on them.He just doesn't want to upset his kids or his ex in ANY way. I have a feeling that he prefers to keep them as happy as possible (so that his ex won't tell him he can't see his kids no more if she doesn't get things her way) and the angry wife: ME he'll deal with that later (meaning never!) I told DH that as long as his kids are in my house they have to respect me and my rules.
Also another time he was chattng with his kids ( i was standing next to him and happened to see this part) and they wrote to him that right now he can't get a job 'cause if he was with someone good/decent enough he would have a job.thus meaning that I'm not good for him. I got so mad when I saw that and I told DH to write them back that they have to respect me. My DH got so mad and told me:now you want to tell me what to write them?
I said yes; if you really love me you tell them to respect me.They (his kids and their mom and grandmother) have been a pain in the *** since day 1 that we got together; always calling me names and telling all those lies about me. I told my DH he has to tell them to stop doing that; he says he told them to stop but why don't they?? Because I have a feeling he never told them cause they'll get angry and again to pester him he won't see his kids (his weak point)Anyway, after insisting he write them back for them to respect me, they answered back that because of me he doesn't care about them and that their love for him is getting less by the day.I made him write back saying that his love for them will never stop and that it has nothing to do with who he's married to.
Also when they asked him about CS he once said to them that he has more things to pay and not only CS and if he doesn't pay those things I'll divorce him. He just said that as a comment but a few days ago their grandma left a message on my answering machine saying that he lied to them because he is still married and he would rather save his marriage and not feed his kids (she called her own grandkids dogs; unbelievable !!),that I have other men in my life and why is he still married ? For me it was shocking 'cause it sounds like they really expect him to get a divorce and pronto !! I guess that's what they've wanted all these years anyway;to see us break up and they'll have a good laugh. We are by the way divorcing but it was more for financial reasons but now I'm happy I am just for sentimental reasons. I was always there for DH and always stood up for the love I had for him; fighting for our marriage.How can I go on with someone who doesn't respect/love me enough and doesn't/won't defend me/our marriage in any way for him not to get in a fight with his kids and BM.
That's why I'll become "selfish" and start thinking about me and my kids. Hopefully in the future I'll meet someone who loves me and my kids enough to do anything for them.
What do you all think??