jrobert1's picture

New to this

Hello folks... I am a father of two year old twins and a step father of a thirteen year old step son. We generally split custody. This is the summer when this friendless, rude hobbyless thirteen year old comes to my house everyday.(because we have xbox) He plays Xbox and eats. He is unpleasant and my only responsibility is to make sure he likes me. I can't say crap about fifteen hours a day of video games...I don't know why it bugs me so much but ignoring all the things I know t kids about kids is tough. I don't want to be mean but come on he can do something... His mother is a huge pushover and seems ok with this lack of a life. Really tough.

Rags's picture

I know exactly how you feel.

I know exactly how you feel. My SS was a game head, fantasy literature, anime' loving, no life teen. I refused to talk about video games, anime' and fantasy bullshit with him.

When he would start in on some game, etc... I would immediately ask "so, why don't we talk about something that you actually did or created from your own immagination." I stuck to this one sentence for years to pull his head in to the realm of reality and out of his ass.

To try to expand his horizons I used to take him foscil hunting, hiking, climbing, camping, mountain biking, etc, etc, etc.... I did not give him a choice. I also took away the game systems in a hurry. I tied gaming to his grades and family participation behavior. The XBox/Wii/PS-XX lasted about 6mos then they sat there with no power cords for years. We would not buy him fantasy/dragon/wizzard crap books. We would buy tons of books just not that crap. He was stubborn and re-read the same several dozen books countless times for years rather than read a variety of books.

Now that he is nearly 20 all he talks about is our family trips, foscil hunting, hiking, etc.... Not a F-IN word about games, etc.....

I suggest cutting the cord of the game system (uplug it first) and get he and your wife and the young twins out on a bike ride, hiking, museum, discovery zone, etc.......

And.... my kid is now in the USAF and in college, very active, etc.... He still games but it is not his life any longer.

His mom needs to be all in on this and if she won't do it then you will have to drive him incessently in to reality. My own wife took a while to come around but even she finally got on board with keeping SS engaged, moving and progressing rather than sitting using someone else's immagination.

A parent is an example, mentor, confidante, advocate and disciplinarian, not a buddy.-Rags
If you can't listen and learn then you will have to feel.-WLR
If you want to be a part of my life then use your head or STFU and do what you are told.-Rags

jrobert1's picture

I don't like how I feel about

I don't like how I feel about him coming over. He won't read exercise or talk to a soul. I am the only one in his world who doesn't chuckle at this. His mother is not happy with his extreme laziness but is better than I am at residing herself to the fact that he will do next to nothing all summer. We took him to the beach this weekend... You'd think we took him to the dentist. He wore shoes and socks and sat under the umbrella a complained about the heat. My wife couldn't even change because he didn't help with the boys for even five minutes. I am cool with leaving him at home but that isn't allowed either. This Site is great because I have completely bored all of my friends to death on the subject.

jrobert1's picture

He is her son. I have to

He is her son. I have to tread softly. Very very frustrating.