The package dealSubmitted by smdh on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 7:33am
I've been annoyed by that forum post for days. I was trying to figure out a way to explain it without the emotion. This is what I came up with. It isn't the best analogy, but I think it works.
Say you land your dream job. I mean this job is what you've fantacized about your entire life. It pays good money. It is interesting. It is a challenge. It provides security. And it is rare! You're so lucky to have landed this job. You realize that it will be long hours and hard work, but you've got a good, solid work ethic and you're excited about it.
So you get there for your first day and everything is great. Everyone seems nice and professional. YOu work hard. You get promoted! Hmmm, but then something weird happens. Some of your co-workers / peers start being douchebags. It might be subtle. It might be direct. Either way, its there. They're taking credit for your work. They're stealing your ideas. They're coming in late and leaving early, making extra work for you, but they're still getting all the same kudos and accolades that you're getting. In fact, sometimes they only show up twice a week and they're being treated like kings while you're chained to your desk doing all the heavy lifting and noone seems to notice your efforts. You could quit, but you'll never find another job like this. This job is your livelihood. This job was your dream.
You talk to your boss about it. He might be sympathetic. He might think your paranoid. He may accuse you of being PETTY and attacking your co-workers. Either way, he isn't going to change anything.
Now I ask you "package deal" promoters, in this day and age, in this economy do you just say "fuck it" and quit or do you suck it up and keep doing your best and keep being able to pay your mortgage? Sure you do. You don't quit your dream job. You might bitch about it and your co-workers and maybe even your boss. You might go home and vent it all out. You might call them assholes. You might even say you HATE them, but you don't just walk out on a job you know you can't replace.
And does your boss fire you because you have complaints? Probably not. Does he care that you go home and vent? Probably not. What he cares about is that you do your job and you don't be disrespectful in the workplace.
Insert a dream dh, the fact that most of us are in an age group where men with whom we are compatible without kids are not easy to find, insert kids for co-workers and you have the same situation.
We come here to vent about stuff - and yes sometimes it IS petty. But if I come here to bitch that it took SD 45 minutes to make herself a sandwich and she whined the entire time and that prevents me from blowing a gasket and telling her that she is being ridiculous, then I'm keeping the peace with my family.
My dh is well aware of my feelings (lack thereof) for his kid. And you know what? He is FINE with it. Why? Because he is a mature adult who realizes his kid's personality mirrors the personality of a woman we both hate and that unlike him, I don't have the innate love for her to ignore it. As long as my behavior and my feelings remain seperate, he has no illusions that I married "both" of them.