We've had a dog for five years.....but yet, the skids seem to forget every day!!
We got a dog shortly after we were married. She was a rescue beagle. Sure I wanted to have her, but youngest skid, SD16 (now) -- she was 11 at the time, begged to have the dog. Of course, I've fallen in love with the dog now, and she's turned into more or less my baby. So now, the skids talk mean about her now, make crude comments about her, won't take care of her unless I'm begging them, etc. I have to literally throw a friggin' fit to make sure that she is taken care of if I'm not here. Worse yet, when we got someplace over night, I have to hire someone else to take care of the dog because these stupid skids are so incompetent they won't take care of her. I usually will get a phone call from a neighbor (while we're away) that the dog got out and then I have to frantically make phone calls trying to find the kids so that they will go get her. It's a real pain in the ass.
So this am I get up. I worked last night for 10 hours. I asked the skids, SD16 and SS18 to make sure the dog got out to pee, etc. while I was gone. Usually during the summer I just leave the sliding glass door open, but its cold now and I don't want to leave it open now and have the furnace running all day long. So I told the kids that and asked them to please make sure she got out to go to the bathroom.
This morning I got up, and my dog walks over to her bed (which is upstairs) and she sniffs at something. I thought the cats had pooped in her bed. But no, the dog did. It's because the kids did not let her out! AND to top it off, nobody even noticed last night at all!!! Seriously! Everytime I think maybe I'm being too hard on them and maybe I should take it easy, something else happens.
It really is something every day. I'm so disgusted every day.
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So where is their dad in all
So where is their dad in all of this?
Oh he was here last night
Oh he was here last night after 6:45.... he was working all day, but they (the skids) were home by themselves all day -- SD16 was home sick (she wasn't bad because she is back at school today) and SS18 graduated and is "finding" his way. He works one day a week at his dad's store.
So this means that the poop was sitting in the dog's bed while my husband was in the living room and nobody even noticed. Seriously??!! Gross.
I would tell my husband about this yet again, but DH told me the other day that "he's tired of fighting about his kids every day" ---- the kids literally do stuff every single day because they are idiots and can't seem to remember anything that I ask them to do. I'm literally so tired of all of this after almost 6 years of it --- literally feeling done.
I guess your SKids don't care
I guess your SKids don't care because dad doesn't care. I have a feeling dad let's them get away with a lot of things.
I believe that no matter how loud or insistent we stepmoms get, if their parent (DH) does not tell their kids that we are authoritative figures, they will never listen to us. It sounds like your SKids lack parenting. Maybe it's time he gives consequences for their bad behavior instead of wasting all his energy arguing/defending them?
Sometimes I wonder why my SKids respect their teachers. I think it's because the parents always reiterate, "When are you in school, your teacher should be respected and you need to follow what he/she wants you to do; or else I will hear about it and you will be punished for bad behavior or you will get bad grades etc". With stepparents, they don't get that speech. They see us they way they see dad treats us... sometimes they think they can talk to you the way their dad talks to you... as equals, as friends.
DH is the parent and it should come from him. There should be consequences for bad behavior. I'm just afraid it might be too late with a 16 and 18 year old.
SD16 doesn't even respect her
SD16 doesn't even respect her teachers, her dad, me or anyone else. Surprise surprise. The only reason those kids get any "discipline" and I use the word lightly, is when I tell my DH that he needs to. And the thing is that they know it. They never got any "discipline" before I came into the picture. So they know I'm the "heavy" and he's the friend. He looks to me -- he even says to me "I don't know what to do?" at times. I want to throw up my hands. Or when they do something and he talks to them -- never sternly, he'll tell me, well SS18 says he's sorry, he was just joking when he said "such and such" -- basically one time when he was completely rude to me on the telephone and I ended up hanging up on him. I was blown away. I have asked DH if a stranger was to treat me the way his kids do, what would he do? He says he'd be pissed and he'd do something about it. I said really....then why in the world do you let your kids treat me the way you let them treat me --- I mean seriously. If he loves me as much as he really says he does, why in the hell does he allow this?
It actually got better after I posted this -- actually worse. I cleaned up the poop, went down to the laundry room to wash the dog bed, and one of the kids had pushed the cat box too far back for the cat to get into it and then the cat peed in the dog bed when I stepped away --- the cat had also peed on all the towels that skids had thrown on the floor NEXT to the laundry hamper. I was so furious I've been cussing up a storm in my head -- finally had to calm myself down enough and then took a xanax.
Oh good, now I hear SD16 home from school. Joy of joys. Now I'm leaving. Her loud, grating voice, is penetrating my skull.
We got the skids a kitten
We got the skids a kitten over a year ago. They BEGGED for one. They have two cats at BM's. Our friend had a litter of kittens, so we went over there, picked one out, and brought him home. The skids promised to help take care of it on their days. NEVER happened - maybe once, they cleaned out the litter box. We have the cat declawed (only after he ruined my leather dining room chairs), and had him neutered. I am taking care of all of the cat's needs, and I don't even really like cats.
Anyways, fast forward to a few months ago - one of my best friends lost her cat (hit by a car), and she really wanted another one. I tell her we have a perfectly wonderful cat - declawed and neutered - very well taken care of. DH and I discussed letting her have him. We did NOT discuss with skids.
She came and got him on a Monday. BUT, I left the cat's food bowl and water bowl sitting empty in the spot in the kitchen where it's always been. Skids come on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and for that weekend. NOTHING is said for FOUR days. They didn't attempt to feed cat, water cat, and NEVER even noticed he was missing until Saturday came, when finally DH said something to them about the cat's food and water bowl (that was supposed to be their job - to put food and water bowl when low or empty). The skids run to the pantry to get the food (it's gone), and turn around to yell that we have NO cat food. DH then tells them that the cat has been gone since Monday.
They silently start crying. DH and I smile and walk away. Nothing has ever been said since that day about the cat. I'm pretty sure they knew better.
NEVER AGAIN!
That's a thought I had about
That's a thought I had about SD16's cat. She begged to have it,but won't take care of it. I have to remind her to clean the cat box all the time. Remind her to fill the water dish. She will fill the food dish because its down by her room, but we all tend to do that because the cat is quite vocal. But half the time she doesn't even like the cat -- so why keep it?? Honestly I've grown attached to the cat. She calls her own cat a retard.
These kids don't like animals. Me and my daughter love animals so we would be devastated if the animals were gone. We brought one cat with us when we moved in and we take care of it, but he never uses the cat box cuz he's too big! He weighs 19 lbs!! haha!
Good work wedded bliss on you and your hubs being on the same page .... wish me and my hubs were. It's a tough lesson for kids to learn, but they need to learn that if you don't take care of animals they go.