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StepTalk 2.0 didn't happen?

HappyLittleTree's picture

I didn't time a come back the same day someone blogs about old posters. Unfortunately, step life happened just when I thought I was going to be done with it.

BM moved 10 minutes down the same street, just far enough not to be in the same city but close enough that we might shop at the same Wal-Mart. Last night at drop off, DH says he's going to start seeing more of SD9, specifically on the weekdays.

How? BM asked if he would "watch" her Friday and Thursday. Two days he has to be to work at 4 to the job he has to leave the house at 315 to get there after exchanging cars with me when I get home from leaving my job at 245. BM will pick SD up and drop off but the only way this works is if I do the watching. I told DH I would do it this week but I'm not promising this is going to be a weekly thing. Don't depend on me at all. I know what it means to him but I said that she is really just using me through him for free child care and that if this doesn't change the relationship in a positive way for everyone, then I'm out. She has already pulled some recent BS so i shouldn't even agree to watching her this week but its Christmas.

Does 50 a week spund like a good fee?

Comments

Ninji's picture

When BM wants me to do her a "favor" (but it's for the kids) I tell DH it's the hourly rate I make at work. If I'm giving up my free time (especially for someone I hate), I need to be compensated. She hasn't taken me up on the offer yet. Smile

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Doing it once is a favor. Doing it every week is being taken advantage of.

Your DH isn't even able to pretend this extra time befits him and the one who's watching them so they should be with mom. She's trying to find a baby sitter and if that's you then she should pay for it.

HappyLittleTree's picture

I agree 100 percent. I'm going to work DH up in to telling her to take his CS down. I know that's not happening but it gets the ball out of my court. Hopefully it won't get to that and it will only be this one time.

bananaseedo's picture

No, there were no ugprades or 2.0....it was an excuse to purge...anyways. Yeah, eff that. I would be hesitant to do it the FIRST time, because we all know these men then get it in their heads you 'agreed' to it. NOPE...visitation (extra) is to spend time with DAD, not SM.

So nice of him to offer your time and accepts BM 'proposal'.

HappyLittleTree's picture

I'm scared to see if my old account was purged. My phone was stolen so I lost my log in credentials and decided to wean myself off of steptalk since step life had ramped itself down.

It stayed down for a while. Then I had the new baby and was expecting it to ramp up but all we got was a "do you plan to pay child support" on the day the baby was born.

WTF...REALLY's picture

I don’t understand your husband‘s logic. He said he’s going to start spending more time with his child and this translates to him working and you watch the child. His logic doesn’t add up.

HappyLittleTree's picture

He thinks this is going to lead to him being able to pick her up from school and spending time with her on his days off.

He was so hopeful last night when he was talking I didn't have the heart to tell him that as long as BM doesn't have to pay child care SD is going to keep coming over. Right now, he and SD have a great relationship and in a perfect world even if I had to watch SD on Thursday and Friday while he actually spent time with her on Monday Tuesday and wednesday, everything would be great. But I'm trying not to be all doom and gloom about it by reminding him that BM is just using him. I think if I were him I would let myself be used like this as well.

Thank goodness I'm not him amd I could really use 50 to 200 a week for my services.