Whats your opinion
Do you believe a non custodial step parent is just as responsible for the stepchild as much as their spouse or S/O? DH and I have not really been in SS's life because BM² has been keeping us away from him using her not knowing me as an excuse even though I've been with DH for 6 yrs and have kept my other SS (different mom) for a month. Well now she wants us to keep him and MIL thinks we should even though I'm very much pregnant and have 2 kids with DH that I can hardly handle while pregnant. MIL told DH SS is also my child since I married DH. What are yalls opinions on this subject? DH disagrees with MIL and I feel like me watching SS would be like me babysitting someone's kid from Wal-Mart.
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He is not your child. He is
He is not your child. He is BM2 and your dh's child. Period. No amount of marriage makes him YOUR child. He has a mother. And he's practically a stranger to you, to boot. I think two parents are responsible for their kids, but I also think when one parent eliminates the other from the child's life on purpose, she should live with the mess she made.
The bad thing about this
The bad thing about this whole situation is that MIL has even said that she would watch him for 2 weeks but doesn't want to deal with BM². I'm thinking why should I? The poor child was a turkey bastered child without DH's knowledge and when BM² told DH she was pregnant he said it wasn't his problem or his child (because she hoed around) and so DH went on living his life started dating me all the while BM² was carrying SS. MIL kept in touch with her and DH didn't until she got his number and found him on MySpace and started harassing him.
I think that MIL really wants
I think that MIL really wants me to be the mom that BM² cannot be to SS because BM² is too wrapped into hating me DH and the kids that we have together.
If she "cares" so damn much
If she "cares" so damn much then let HER be the mommy he never had to him!!!! Ugh!!! Fuck MIL's!!!!
Thank you I really try hard
Thank you I really try hard not be mean spirited it just sucks that BM² one minute won't let SS near us then the next minute is ok with it then the next minute she tells DH he should terminate his rights.
It's just so sad that she has
It's just so sad that she has done this and expects DH and me to jump cuz she says jump. DH isn't and it's upsetting her because she wants her way. She is so wishy washy. SS is her yoyo. I feel like she has inflicted herself on us all cuz she was determined to stay in DH's life so she turkey bastered DH got a kid out of it that DH really didn't want and to be honest she didn't want either (she asked MIL if she would adopt him when MIL came to see them the day he was born).
BM² is the type to coach SS
BM² is the type to coach SS into saying I abused him even though I wouldn't and I really don't have time for that crap.
BM² doesn't know I'm pregnant
BM² doesn't know I'm pregnant and if she found out she would go into total b*tch mode like she did when she found out about my 2 kids with DH.
I think anytime is a good
I think anytime is a good time for a parent to build a relationship with his child. Stressful? Absolutely, but that doesn't make it less important.
It's not your responsibility to be this child's caretaker. That's on your DH. If it means paying daycare or a babysitter, that's what he needs to do.
You are responsible for seeing that your children are taken care of. He is responsible for seeing that his children are taken care of.
The difficult part is DH
The difficult part is DH setup a pick up date 2 weeks ago with BM² to get SS and she was fine with it but then Saturday she told him no because she has a family reunion. I think she is lying because you don't find out about a family reunion a week before it's going to happen.
If DH disagrees with MIL and
If DH disagrees with MIL and he agrees with you, don't worry about it. MIL's name is not on the marriage license so she doesn't really get a say.
Theoretically, I believe each parent should share responsibility for their kid, but in a lot of cases, that is just not possible for many reasons. BMs need to think about the consequences of their actions when they go for total custody, or deny the father visitation, or are total bitches.
The reality is, your DH cannot be home to watch over SS, so other arrangements need to be made. You should not have to watch him unless you want to. And it does make it very hard since you barely know him. I'm not mad at ya!
BM² told DH that she just
BM² told DH that she just wants a break
How convenient. She should
How convenient. She should have thought about that a long time ago. So, it's not about wanting her son to get to know his father at all.
Me and my husband laugh when SD says she needs a break from her kids. You had them, you are their mother. It is a full time responsibility, it's not a babysitting gig.
Our parents didn't get "breaks" unless they paid a babysitter while they went out to dinner.
She gave her oldest son (who
She gave her oldest son (who is not DH's) to his father's side of the family until he was 11
DH told her we needed a break
DH told her we needed a break from our kids too that's when BM² asked DH if I could watch him. I don't know him at all and when we do visit with him she has him shoved so far up DH's butt I can't get to know him.
I completely disagree with
I completely disagree with what MIL said about SS being yours too, but maybe she's of the belief that the "oneness" of marriage now means that the skid, in addition to being DHs, is now yours too.
I don't think now is the right time for SS to visit. You're heavily pregnant and tired. If MIL watches him, great! Maybe DH can see him at her house.
About your pregnancy, does BM receive CS? Because if she does, its inevitable that she'll find out via a CS reduction.
Yes she does get CS but DH
Yes she does get CS but DH works so much he hasn't ever gotten a reduction for our kids.
Sometimes us smoms are just
Sometimes us smoms are just the dump zones, or free babysitters. It really irks me. but hell if we want to have an opinion or to discipline - snap goes the freakin b/m's whip and she tears the poor kids away. I tell ya, these kids with freaky bm's, they get all the crap and then us smoms get to deal with the behaviors of said crap. Uhm, did that make sense? haha spent the day in the sun and my brain might be a bit woozy. teehee
You just tell that bm2 that you are pregos again, let her freak and she won't bother needing her break anymore.
Lol but on a serious note I'd
Lol but on a serious note I'd rather not let her know because just to be vindictive she might try and milk more money out of DH's paycheck by taking him back to court (because it's been 3 years and in TX you can take them back to court after 3 yrs) before the baby is born.