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The argument

Beautiful Dreamer's picture

DH and MIL got into it over me and SS. DH works Monday thru Saturday and then works a second job so I don't have to work especially right now with me being pregnant and well MIL and DH got into it because they talked about BM² offering to let SS stay with us for 2 weeks and DH said no it wouldn't be fair because he is never home except on Sundays and that it wouldn't be fair to me because I struggle with the 2 we already have right now because I'm pregnant and he thinks adding SS would only stress me out more. Plus we (DH and i) don't really know the kid because for the last 5 years BM² has kept home hidden from us by constantly moving and not updating her info with the attorney general's office. I also don't think it would be smart to have him for 2 weeks straight because BM² given her track record would want my phone number and the last time she had it would send ugly text messages to me and I would get restricted phone calls and if I answered nobody would speak up. I understand that MIL would actually want us to keep SS because she knows that SS would be safer with us than BM² given the fact that she is verbally abusive to SS and that if it were up to MIL we would have custody of SS and BM² would be the one having to get visitation but that is not the reality. MIL told DH I'm just as responsible for SS as he is because we are married and DH doesn't see it that way because he is trying to protect me and BM² is the type of woman who will call the police saying I abused SS even though I wouldn't.

Comments

herewegoagain's picture

Good for your DH. Crazy MIL. It always amazes me how these BMs keep the kids away from dad, but as soon as dad has a new wife, they are eager to send the kid to dad's home...obviously, 1. to piss you off 2. to find out all they can about you and your life. Too bad. If she didn't do it before, she shouldn't do it now. If now that your DH is with you, he can stick to the CO, even if that means more time, great...but ONLY if he will be there. It is not up to you to take care of the kid if he can't be there. It is NOT your kid.

PS - DH never specifically asked about this, but hinted...I asked him when BM planned to take care of OUR son...that was the end of the conversation (not that I would have ever allowed it, but just saying)

If MIL wants the kid, she can take care of him those two weeks. I bet you she won't.

Beautiful Dreamer's picture

She told me last night that she would but she doesn't want to deal with BM². Which I do find funny given the fact that BM² and her were buddies (even though DH and I both tried to warn her BM² was a lunatic) it took DH to put MIL on 3-way with him and BM² to get her to see the light. I'm just glad DH never married her. DH didn't think SS was his cuz BM² cheated so much so when SS was born DH wasn't there. BM² wants DH to have that unbreakable father-child bond with SS that he has with my 2 soon to be 3 kids and it's just not going to happen. DH has been there for our kids and me from day 1. BM² envies that but she shouldn't have turkey bastered DH after they broke up and were staying with a friend. Everyone agrees she shouldn't have brought a child into their already destroyed relationship because DH didn't want her anymore and she was determined to keep him and it didn't work.

hanneyh1's picture

I wish I could get my DH to be that supportive.....! Yeah, I would just let MIL fume. If she says she thinks it's better for SS to stay with you but you've already said no to this, and DH has told her that if she wants him she can watch him, but she says no to that too, I'd tell her to mind her own damn business. If she can't handle dealing with BM, what makes her think that you can? (OR want to for that matter). Or you could have DH just tell her that she has no room to speak in the decisions he and you are making about SS EVER. Tell her to keep her opinions to herself, that you guys are doing what's best for you guys. After all, she's doing it to be manipulative....