Sadly you're going to be judged. There isn't really a solid answer here other than grow some thick skin.

If your family works for you then that's got to be your support. You're not going to get them to see everything the way do so take comfort in knowing your happy.

fk' them.

I went to school events. I was barely 25 when my first born went into kindergarden, still looked just like my high school ID - I'd get carded everywhere (age of majority is 19 where I am). Parents all around me were in their mid to late 30s, some in their 40s... and they looked at me like I had leprosy.

Young and funky doesn't mean irresponsible. You know that, I know that.

Your attitude doesn't seem to match your style... your attitude reeks of wanting to fit in, wanting to stay out of the limelight, wanting to be seen as mature... yet your style seems to portray wanting to be a free spirit, don't give a F what others think, march to your own beat... pick one, and use it across the board.

Acting responsible is great... unfortunately, first impressions are everything. Trust me, when you're the one who looks like you're the odd one out, you might be treated like you are. Comes with the territory.

** ex legging wearing pink-haired multiple-facial-piercings - multiple tattooed young mom of 3.

Hi There,

I have a big age gap with my SO i am 32 he is 52...we have been dating since i was about 25/26- but met him at 23, we have a DD2 together. Given that its been 6 months- i would slow down. You dont need to be a mother to your Boyfriends Son, fortunately, you are not considered a Step parent yet. Again, re read when i said fortunately. If the BM is out of the picture, i say your lucky...if your BM is crazy and your boyfriend does not set boundaries with his ex or kids, reconsider your relationship; things dont always get better and by the time they do your on the verge of leaving.
When dealing wtih Step related issues, take a step back...its really his problem, even if your married...think of being in a step situation as, "anything you say and do ,can and will be used against you".
Not everyone has awful experiences, but it seems to be the norm unfortunately.
And yes, if you look young for your age and your BF doesnt, yes, you might get some looks- i know i have/do- that gets easier with time. And yes, people may think your his rebound chick but only you would know if you are or arent. Big Age differences can work but it takes understanding and commitment, just like any relationship to make it work...hope your BF has his shit together in terms of a good job and owning a home...good luck.

To be honest, other’s judgement of your relationship is the absolute LEAST of your worries in the big scheme of things that is steplife and the last thing you should get you all caught up. Reality is sure some people will notice and do a double take, but most people don’t actually care enough to wrack their brains about why he’s with you, how much parenting you’re doing, or your age difference. They’ll think “oh...that’s interesting” then move on.

As the saying goes.... you only get one chance at a first impression. That said.... your appearance is not relevant to the relationship you have with your BF and shouldn't worry you regarding the impression your SKids friends and their parents may have of you. It is none of their business.

I do have some concerns however. You indicate that you have never had a positive male example in your life and your BF is 17 years your elder. Something to consider is how this fact factors into the establishment and progress of your relationship.

This may be an interesting comment coming from someone who is 12 years the elder in his marriage to his wife of 23+ years and counting. I think that a blended family marriage where one equity life partner brings no children is less complex than one where both bring children to the marriage. However.... the preponderance of the evidence indicates that it is much more difficult on BK free SMs who are expected to parent their partners prior relationship progeny than a StepDad who enters an equity life partnership with a prior relationship breeding partner. With the age difference, difference in life experience,likely difference in income between you at 22 and your history with less than quality male examples as well as BF at 39 the level of equity life partnership and the complexity of your relationship does not set this relationship up with a strong probability of success.

IMHO of course.

We actually had the opposite problem when it came to the opinions of the school officials and the parents of my Skid's classmates. Most officials and parents at our son's school (my SS) thought my bride was the trophy wife SM and I was BioDad. We met when SS was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo. My bride was 18 and I was 30.

Take care of you.

Ditto what maxwell said about other people being the least of your worries.

Honestly, when I read your post my first reaction was, "here we go again, a woman with unresolved daddy issues". As a moderate feminist, the phrases "i'm looking for someone to take care of me" or "he takes good care of me" always set my teeth on edge. It gives your power away. How about you take care of yourself? Do you want to set yourself up for a life of dependence?

I can't even count how many times I've seen these types of relationships turn into controlling situations, often to the point of domestic violence. Hopefully he is not now and never will be possessive and jealous, and hopefully you have the ability to be self supporting. If you are part of the lucky minority that doesn't have the preceding problems, then remember that at 39 he is young and healthy now, but in 10-20 years he's going to be a doddering foggey, and you will still be young and healthy. It doesn't seem to matter now, but I can almost guarantee it will matter then. It's your choice, but love is never enough, and it is important to be realistic.

:jawdrop: clearly this relationship is not for you child, You are looking for a Daddy figure, you will have to choose...

do you want a Dad or do you want a boyfriend, cause the same guy can't be both.

At 22 you are suppose to learn about life and enjoy life, travel, stuff up, go to parties etc, you are not suppose to play house with a 9 year old child... you are wasting your life and believe me this man will get tired of you in 5-6 years time and dump you and get a woman more his age. Yes he's enjoying the little young thing for now, but it's not going to last, I'm sorry to tell you this but it's the truth.

His friends will never accept you, the teachers will always look down at you, his work colleagues will make fun of him, he will get tired off all off this and you will grow bitter, seriously think about what you are doing.

Oh and I have a 22 year old, so I could've been your mother and that's why I'm telling you this.... my kid never had a father in his life, there was a stage he tried and played that card with me but I told him to stop... a Father/mother is not the person who determine who you become, that's up to you and only you, and if you want to use not having a father as an excuse in life for messing up, you will fall behind and be a pathetic little brat shit, stop using excuses and start taking care of yourself and control your own life, you do not need an adult male/female to do that for you, Your destiny is in your own hands, no one else's