Husband and son don't get along
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New husband, adult son don't get along. Son is 24 lives at home with his daughter which I have raised . Son is very lazy won't do much around the house. Husband gets very angry because he's so lazy. Son can't afford to move out. Have threatened son told him I would throw him out if he didn't help out. Knows I won't because of his daughter. What can I do?
Throw him out! If he can't
Throw him out! If he can't take care of the child, petition the court for temporary custody.
YOU are allowing your son to hold you hostage. You will continue to be treated like this until YOU make it stop.
he's 24 - time for your son
he's 24 - time for your son to leave your house.....
Sit your son down and tell him - this is what's going to happen, you are going to find a job, and you are going to live on your own, I give you 30 days to do all of this and then I'm kicking you out of the house, you are an adult... not a child.
and that counts for any adult child in your house..
now it's unclear - is it your son's little girl staying with you - her you can keep she's a minor and your son can only visit her....
or is your son shagging up with your husbands daughter and they both squats at your house..
I don't blame your DH for not
I don't blame your DH for not getting along with your son. Not trying to bash your child but he is way too old to be living with you and just being a freeloader and he is using his child as a weapon for you to not throw him out which is total bulls***!
Give the son notice.
Give the son notice. Petition for custody of the grandchild if necessary. If he decides to use her as a means to hurt you for making him grow up then petition for grandparents rights. As you have raised her you have good chance to get continued access.
Make him do all her care starting now. You only be the grandmother, playing fun games and baking cookies with her. He needs to know how to care for her when they are on their own.
Perhaps if he grows up and actually gets a job and helps around the house and pays rent then your husband will compromise and allow them to stay if that will work out for everyone. There is nothing wrong with extended family sharing a home as long as every one is contributing.
It is on you to talk to your son and make him see how his laziness will no longer be tolerated. Hold him accountable so his daughter has a man for a father. Hold him accountable so one day he can be a husband to someone that can take over the job of holding him accountable.
If necessary for yourself and your husband go to counseling to restore your marriage.
Thank you for your advise.
Thank you for your advise. Unfortunately in the state where I live they don't have grandparents rights. My son does have a job but when he gets home and on his days off he just lays around in the living room where his daughter is. She is 5 so doesn't need much but still looks to me because I have been the one always there for her
Does your son pay a household
Does your son pay a household portion of expenses? Does he cover all the expenses for his daughter?
Is his job physically taxing that he needs to rest on his days off? Even if so he still has a daughter to care for.
You can let him know that it will be his responsibility to care for her primarily on his off days. You have other things to attend to. But can still be there to interact with her as you want to.
It sounds like he can step up to caring for his daughter and perhaps your husband would be happy with you having more time to spend with him or for your own activities. Five year olds are very active usually, sitting around the living room with her dad may not be enough if he is not interacting with her and caring for her.
The goal is to find ways to help your son take care of his own family and to keep a good relationship all around. Eventually he will move out and you will see your granddaughter less maybe unless you are the child care provider. Finding workable solutions to everyone's concerns is the goal. Your husband is frustrated with the present arrangement so maybe some family counseling can help to find solutions.