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Holiday Stupids

Cover1W's picture

Things going well until...DH, while SDs and I are making a final batch of cookies, brings up all this chocolate he bought yesterday. I am abandoned. BTW: there is so much chocolate for tomorrow I can't even tell you. I'm like WTF? There's a plate of cookies being ignored now. In fact I realize NO ONE is eating any of the cookies I've made.

I say, does no one in this house eat cookies?
All of them answer no. Because chocolate is better.
SD13 pipes up, "It's not our tradition."
I say, "So mine don't count?" Then to everyone, "you know, I'm not doing this again. I'm done ever making holiday cookies again. Your dad can just go buy chocolates."
SD13, "But you're not blood, you don't understand."
Me, looking directly at DH, "I guess my traditions must be subsumed by all of yours then?!"
I just poured myself a beer, put all the cookies that were made into the freezer to give to neighbors and bring to work. I threw away the rest of the dough. I got out the turkey like I said I would and I am out of the freaking kitchen. We will see if dinner gets made. I've been cooking/baking for days. DH may have an cold but he can damn well shove the bird into the oven.

Now I need another drink.

Comments

Disneyfan's picture

Are you kidding????

They helped make the cookies(your tradition) but would rather eat the chocolate(their tradition). So the kids took part in both traditions. Why is that a bad thing? :?

Instead of getting angry, why not have them help wrap up(and deliver) cookies for your neighbors?

Cover1W's picture

Yep. The whole conversation w felt like they were just humoring me...and then dad swoops in and literally they left the kitchen without even making one cookie. And they were telling me days ago, "Yes we eat cookies make them!" But I had yet to see one other person eat one.

Cover1W's picture

No, I get that. This is the 4th holiday with them but the most vocal in hearing, "but we don't do that." DH has said that too to other things I suggest and not once have I been asked what do you want to do?

I'm pretty well disengaged but jeezuz.

My holiday will consist of no more cooking.
1) all of them admitted to not wanting cookies.
2) no one wanted to deliver them with me.
3) I'm pissed that DH interrupted my time with the chocolates, not that he gets them but the amount is over the top. You really have not seen the quantity he's got this year.

I have cooked cleaned and baked with no thank you.

The beauty of it means that next year I get to do nothing!!

Cover1W's picture

We talked about it but you have a point. He didn't really HEAR it. Like most everything else (i.e. The issues I had with SDs) I have to totally withdraw from the process to get him to understand it. So this makes me feel better, I am toasting your point!

I have to say we communicate pretty darn well outside of holiday/birthday stuff with SDs since indisengaged last year. . I have to remember that he loses his mind sometimes and to not engage.

FieryEscape's picture

Wow .... I would defiantly not do anything anymore and throw it back in their faces if they dared asked me to. Let your DH do it all....that's the tradition right .

But this ....I don't know how I would of reacted to this comment . SD13, "But you're not blood, you don't understand"
If my DH had said nothing to correct the kid or defend me ....he would get the cold shoulder from me and I would off gone and watched tv in my room with an adult beverage.

Your DH did a great job making you feel and look like an outsider in their family. F that. Happy Holidays .....

Cover1W's picture

Well DH and SD13 apologized to me last night. It was a true apology.

We all watched a holiday movie last night and this morning went well.

We did discuss expectations before the holiday but part of the problem is that DH got sick so threw a lot of activities into me. Which is fine. But he wasn't so sick he was in bed. He was taking it easy. I think the chocolate incident happened because we were all in one place at one time and he decided it would be a nice thing to do, without thinking of ramifications.

I do know that my holiday shopping disengagement worked so I wasn't stressed about that and now next year I can pull back on activities.

..:now to help DH find a missing gift for SD10....it's got to be in the house somewhere.:.