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Making kids lie?

goingcrazy00's picture

BM deeply believes that we...BF and SM...force or make the kids lie to her. How in the world do you knock sense into someone who is so filled with hate and is the most unreasonable person that exists? I would never dare to manipulate any child to lie to their parent for any reason. Kids are truthful (for the most part lol) and don't have hidden agendas like adults do. If the kids do in fact lie to her...I feel like it's because they're terrified of her. She can throw daggers into your soul with her eyes. :O I can't wrap my head around how crazed she and her allegations are...it's pretty scary to have to deal with a person like this BM.

I know others must have had accusations similar to this. How do you respond or handle it?

Acratopotes's picture

seems to me all BM's are batshit crazy...

simply ignore the woman, you do not have to talk to her or give your phone number to her. She can contact the kids bio father if she has issues... and if he complains in your ear, laugh and say.. Hon you wanted to sleep with that, you deal with that

thinkthrice's picture

THIS!

goingcrazy00's picture

Lol oh gosh...I don't want to allude or remind him of the time in his life when he slept with her. :sick:

Acratopotes's picture

nope best way to get your DH to ignore BM and only talk to her concerning small children, and it's the only way you get him to stop jumping if she snaps her fingers....

SM12's picture

In our case, MSS would lie to BM in order to keep her from getting angry over stupid things.
Every weekend that MSS would be at our house, BM would be constantly texting him. There were times I know she was getting a blow by blow description of
what we were doing, discussing and every thing in between. It bugged me terribly but I wasn't worried about BM's reaction because we never did anything
that would cause the SS's harm or be cause for alarm.

One weekend we spend the day with another couple who had kids the same age as ours. We had a cookout, set off tons of fireworks and the SS's had a great time.
The next day I looked at MSS's phone. BM was asking MSS what we had for dinner (He lied and said we ate something we didn't). She asked if "SHE" (meaning me) cooked it (he replied that I had). BM asked if he liked it, he replied that he did. She asked if we had went to the movies because DH had casually mentioned to MSS that we may go to the movies sometime in the next few weeks to see a particular film. MSS lied and said we had gone to the movies...which we did not because we were at the cookout.

After reading all the texts and seeing how many times he just blatantly lied to her about really Non significant things, it hit me as to why. He was tired of her pumping him for info...so if he felt like anything we did at all would set her off on a tirade, he lied about it. Sad because we didn't do anything that would be cause for alarm...but he still felt he needed to lie. Even though I can't stand MSS to this day....I did feel a bit sorry for him at that moment. And it made me open his eyes a little bit about how he must feel stuck in the middle.

goingcrazy00's picture

Wow interesting perspective. All I can hope for is that as the kids age, they'll notice the difference between how their BD and BM act. One is more annoying nosey and insane than the other lol. Although they're both young, I feel like the oldest is starting to catch on,, which gives me a glimmer of hope that the kids will turn out to be alright and not be scarred for life by their mom. Time and patience, I guess.

Sweet T's picture

I know BS doesn;t tell his dad the truth when my ex is quizzing him on what did you do this weekend and things of that nature. You can only have someone explode so many times and get angry over things that are non of their business so many times before you shut down.

goingcrazy00's picture

I actually had a conversation with BM about the whole quizzing/essentially interrogating ordeal. I only initiated the conversation because right after DH dropped off the kids with her after our time with them, she sent him a text within the hour telling him she felt he should know that SS was crying and upset because he hates that DH lies to his mom and makes him lie. I was like wtf?? This was coming from a boy that woke up happy and lovey with us in the morning and as soon as he got to his mom he had a sudden meltdown?? I tried to explain to her that I was reaching out to her because it was very concerning for me to hear that SS had this breakdown seemingly out of nowhere. Then tried to have her tell me what she believed triggered the meltdown or what led up to it. All she said was that she was doing her usual routine of asking the kids how their time went at DH's house. I didn't buy it one bit. I'm assuming she interrogated and asked him all sorts of questions and he broke down. She's an evil woman but I sincerely do worry about how her actions and methods affect the kids.

Maxwell09's picture

I could have wrote this post and most of your replies. BM is like this and I've come to think it comes from her own insecurity and her deflection of the truth. The truth is that it is easier for them to blame their child's father than to actually believe their own interactions with the child is based on them. BM has accused of everything that goes wrong in her life but my favorite was the time when she told DH that he was the reason she was having a complicated pregnancy with Spawn by Babydaddy#2. Reality (that she was either too stupid or refused to accept) was that she is RH- (the minority) and both men she has had children with are RH+ so her body's immune system was attacking Spawn in the womb. OF COURSSSSEEEEE it's DH's fault....yep. Still the best one yet and we've had some pretty crazy accusations and he's only five.

goingcrazy00's picture

Yikesss sounds like the nutty piece of work BM is. What makes it more difficult to deal with someone like her is that she believes she is right about everything and is the most unreasonable person ever. So it's like talking to a brick wall with her and I'm finding more and more that it's just a waste of time and energy. Sometimes DH and I just laugh at the more ridiculous stunts she pulls. That's all we can do at times.