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2 children,2 mothers,my fiance and i (help me)

Danielle2305's picture

Hi everyone. I need some advice and i need the honest truth.
I have been in a relationship with my fiance for 4 years. We are engaged and on a scale from 1-10,i would say that the love & respect we have for each other is about a 7.8.

My fiance has 2 children from 2 different mothers. The boy was conceived during a 5 year relationship with his ex girlfriend and the girl was conceived during his 5 year relationship with his ex,through a one night stand.
When we met,he told me that the girl wasnt his child and he pays support for the child but he knows its not his child because of the mother's promiscious life style. But he has never met the girl since birth. (Confusing? Yip!). Anyway, I got to know his son,he was 2 and a half at the time and really grew love in my heart for the boy.
3 years back,my fiance lost his job and decided to cut all ties with the children's mothers and the kids(mainly his little boy) because he couldnt pay child support.

3 years later,he hasnt seen his son for 2 years he is now turning 6 and the mother of the girl has convinced him to be part of the girl's life. He has met the girl in May of this year and i only found out about it afterwards. him and the mother are constantly talking secretly,sending messages secretly. Am i overreacting??? He is not including me and when i confront him about it he says that i am selfish and only thinking of myself. The mother blocked me from all of her social media and i just dont get why. We have never really had any contact unless she's looking for my fiance.

I dont know how to handle this as a result of everything,i have said stuff to my fiance that ended in me saying that i dont want to be in that child's life and he should deal with it on his own coz i really dont want to be apart of his circus.
Am i wrong?? Help me.d

Acratopotes's picture

Oh Dear - remember girl... once a dog jumps the fence, he will never stop, once a cheater always a cheater..
you've been engaged for 4 years, you are very close to the trade in mark of 5 years,

safe yourself allot of heart ache and end this... it's not worth it Hon, you will never be able to get married and start your own family, BF already has 2 kids, it's not a good life Hon, get out now while you are young and find yourself a non cheating guy

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

And why are you settling for someone who's a "7.8" out of 10 on the love/respect scale? That may be OK for a short-term dating relationship, but it's certainly not good enough for someone you're supposed to be committing your life to. Yeah, this guy sounds like a dog, no offense. Do you honestly believe you can't do better? If you don't want to be part of the circus, then don't be. You haven't bought your ticket yet.

Rags's picture

Your fiance's actions do not pass the smell test by any measure. If is smells like crap and acts like crap it must be crap. Cut the crap loose. No one needs crap in their lives.

NOW... don't wait, don't think about it, just do yourself a massive favor and do it.

hereiam's picture

This whole thing is wrong.

You rate your love and respect for each other on a scale of 1-10? And it's about a 7.8? WTF?

uofarkchick's picture

Girl, if he can cut his kids out of his life without a second thought, what makes you think you're so special that he won't do it to you?