This is my first post and I searched for some kind of forum to get advice from people who have walked in my shoes... my fiancé and I have been together nearly 3 years. Between us we have five children. My kids are 13, 10, and 8. His kids are 10 and 8. I will say that this has never been easy and frankly, I'm not sure why I have done this for so long.

A little background: we both work and make approximately the same amount of money. I get child support for three kids and he pays child support for two, which ends up to be about the same amount of money. But I am essentially paying 2/3 of the household bills. We have my kids 80% of the time and his kids 50%. My step-kids' mother is evil and I have nothing nice to say about her; however, I NEVER speak ill of her in front of the kids.

Recently, I have been feeling like my fiancé' kids come first and the rest of us don't matter. There are many examples but I'll give a few:
We went out to dinner with just his kids. His 10 year old daughter ordered a meal that cost $22, which she ate one bite and said she didn't like it. Which I took note of but didn't say anything. It was his choice, he was paying the dinner bill, no problem. Fast forward 2 weeks: we go out to dinner with my three kids. My 13 year old wants to order a meal that cost $17 and my fiancé refused her. Said it was over the limit. She offered to pay the $5 it cost over the limit he had set but he refused that as well. So I said I would pay for dinner. He got angry with me for undermining him and we fought that entire evening. Of note, my daughter ordered what she wanted and ate her entire meal.

My fiancé let my daughter borrow his beats. His daughter said she wanted them so he asked my daughter for yj back and he gave them to his daughter. This was apparently, not good enough. She wanted new ones, so he bought her brand new, hot pink beats for no other reason than she wanted them.... I didn't say anything.

Then, I was trying to buy football tickets for all 7 of us. It was going to cost $3,000 so I didnt purchase it because I just bought a house and couldn't afford it right now. My fiancé mentioned his intention to buy tickets and I told him that I tried to get tickets for that game but couldn't afford it. His response was that he was only going to bring his kids.... I held that in.

Then, we go to my children's soccer games on Saturday, and to his credit, my fiancé sat and watched both games. On Sunday, we were going to his children's football and cheerleading games. My oldest daughter was turning 13 the following day and I wanted to take her to the mall to go shopping at her favorite store. The mall was closing at 5pm, so we left the football game early to go. My fiancé got very angry with me for leaving the game early and not showing support for his kids. I apologized and said I would never do it again.

Monday was my daughter's birthday. I bought her concert tickets, the clothes she picked out and then gave her some gift cards. My fiancé didn't do anything for her birthday and let me say if the situation were reversed, I would have been in deep shit for not putting forth any effort. So I figure that we're one family and I got her gifts.... he shouldn't have to also even if the precedent was set years back. But the next day, he tells me he went out and bought his daughter a new iPhone 7 for her birthday that is a month away. This obviously was a shock as I had been asking for a new phone for myself multiple times (my phone is on his account) and he just kept telling me no, I wasn't eligible...

I pretty much blew up at him! He said I was a selfish bitch because I am only worried about a phone. And my response was that was just the icing on the cake! I really don't know how to deal. I try all the time to make sure I'm treating the kids equally. All the kids have their own rooms, so when I was decorating my youngest daughter's room and his daughter's room, I made sure to put equal effort in, equal decorations.... I NEVER yell at his kids. When I ask them to do chores, they flat out tell me they don't want to. So my kids end up doing all the chores... I know his kids are only with us half the time, but I'm at the end of my rope.

My fiancé spoils his daughter and my kids say that she gets whatever she wants... that's what my kids think. And I'd be happy to say that he should be able to do whatever he wants for his kids, but I spend every penny I have on the household bills and groceries.... I have minimal savings. And my fiancé can spend whatever he wants on his kids bc I'm picking up the slack for him. I just don't know if I'm being a selfish bitch or if I have a legitimate reason to be angry.... please help. I need perspective!