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Finally getting out.

SilverPetra's picture

Dear Lovely Ladies of StepTalk,

I was on here a few months ago, when I was really struggling - and trying to find solutions for problems that I couldn't solve by myself. You all gave wonderful advice and I am very grateful to all of you. Even the slightly....strong-minded responses.

The Skids (in case it jogs the memory):
Incontinent boy (due to video game addiction) SS11 and BitchPrincess SD13 (she is much like many horrible little girls on here. Manipulative and pulls the wool over everyone's eyes).

My wife continued to be abusive - cutting me off and badmouthing my friends, keeping me in the house (we live remotely and there really was no way round it. Not like living in a city with independent funds.) One car. She also spits, throws things at me and loses her temper violently, just about every day. She is a very lazy parent and has not disciplined or spent enough time with her children. The result is a dysfunctional and financially unstable house. It is a poisonous atmosphere and I was suffocating.

I got my Green Card (a long, expensive and draining process) and now have a part time job, which is AMAZING. It is totally unskilled and a quarter of the hourly rate I got in London, but I work with wonderful people and I can escape the prison for a few hours.

I just wanted to say: I was a strong, independent, resourceful woman. I got trapped in a foreign country, no money, no friends. Suddenly, not strong, independent and no resources. Weak. Broken. Defeated, almost.

Luckily, two friends are letting me borrow enough to get my airfare home, where I will rebuild and recover.

Loneliness is a terrible thing and it led me to a terrible place. But I am escaping.

I have hopped on and off here, and have to say that a lot of us need to break free. I'm booking my flights tomorrow and won't be telling a soul. I have a cover story lined up.

It has been a very hard decision. I had been lied to, to get me here. Lied to when I got here, so I am having to lie now to get out, which isn't a good feeling, but knowing I am going to be safe far outweighs it.

Abuse is a terrible thing - my situation is not as violent, as she has not hit me.....yet. She has throw a glass, washing basket and books at me, but not anything that left a noticeable mark.

I am sending love and light out to those who are in the same position. I wish you luck and good friends to help you through it.

I'm getting out. Maybe this will help someone else see they can do the same.

uofarkchick's picture

Good for you, darling. I wish you all of the joy in the world. You are doing the right thing. Even if you have to tell a dozen lies to your wife, you are saving your own life. Stay strong, my friend, and savor every damn beautiful moment of freedom. Cheers to you.

SilverPetra's picture

I'm pretty sure the fall out will be monumental, but I'll be on the other side of the Atlantic. And she won't be able to buy a plane ticket.
So, yes. I'll tell her I'm not coming back, once I'm home and not a minute before.
True to form, you are all giving excellent (and witty) help.
Thank you.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

If time permits, or once it's established, definitely force all contact to go through a barrister so you can block her.

Rags's picture

Good for you for working your plan to get out. Congratulations on starting you new life adventure far from your toxic STBX.

Take care of you.

sammigirl's picture

You will be amazed at the relief. Do you have a third party that can let her know; therefore, you do not have to have any contact. Good advice above on keeping your new location unknown to anyone that may give it to her.

A new beginning is very scary and lonesome, but you were strong enough to get to this point and now it will get easier.

Prayers your way. Good Luck and stay in touch here.

Thumper's picture

Congradultaions and happy to hear that you found the inner strength.

It has not been an easy road for you. The road ahead of you will be 'your road' no one else's.

Smile

givemesugar's picture

Hahha best song darling!!!! Congratulations petra!!!!! You are free and home in the UK!! I hope you start to rebuild your confidence and appreciate how strong you are babe!!! Xo

CANYOUHELP's picture

You have made a positive difference in your life already. Nobody deserves to be abused by anybody. You go!

SugarSpice's picture

good for you! i wish you the very, very best in getting out of this toxic situation. if time if not now, you will see just how much better it is.

your wife is abusive, and you dont need the poorly parented skids to make your life miserable.

go and be happy.