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NOT FLUSHING THE TOILET.............at age 12!!!!!!!!!

surfchica's picture

OMFG. I am sick of it. SD12 almost 13 forgets all the time and now she has her period. YUK.
I have tried talking to my spouse about it. Here is the response: "She forgets."
My response:" it is not acceptable to forget at almost 13."
Spouse's response: "get off her back"

I have tried talking to SD12 about it. She says:
"I promise I won't forget next time"

And on and on it goes..............

What can I do? Any thoughts? Do you have this problem with your step kid.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Take a picture of her mess, post it on all her social media sites, and let her friends see how gross she is.

oneoffour's picture

^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^

But to be nice give her a warning "The next time you do not flush I will take a photo and tag you and put it on Facebook and Instagram. What you are doing is dirty and rude. Would you like to sit down and pee where I have dumped a load in the toilet?"

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Please don't post that on social media. That is absolutely horrible and could lead to MAJOR issues. I don't see the child or biparent being to friendly after that. Into of it you set her up to be relentlessly bullied which can lead to MAJOR self esteem issues. For the love of God keep disapline issues in the house hold.

surfchica's picture

I like the picture idea but that would just confirm to my spouse that I am as evil a step mom as he thinks I am!

Stepped in what momma's picture

I had this issue with boy skid, I would just leave it for SO. I know its gross but I wasn't walking in that smelly bathroom and doing it. I only had to have SO flush it twice before it magically stopped happening. It is amazing what happens when you make a man deal with the things we are expected to overlook and "just" deal with.

LAMomma's picture

My SD's don't flush regularly but they are younger. (4 & 7) I say out loud and ask them if they've flushed the toilet if I haven't heard it or I'm not sure. They'll either respond they did or go flush it right then and there.

Last In Line's picture

Skids 12 and 10 here...I don't think they have any idea what the handle on the toilet is for. I refuse to deal with their bathroom at all. It is vile. I will turn on the fart-sucker, shut the door, and leave it. They can't figure out what the garbage can is for either...or perhaps they aren't sure what is actually garbage. They will stick used bandaids to the side of the sink. I have found blood all in the sink. SD will let her shampoo fall over and spill out all over the floor and just leave it until someone else deals with it--and that someone else isn't me.

surfchica's picture

I put a note about the toilet roll. That assumes that she uses toilet paper which she sometimes does not. But at least it is a start. Jasper cat you crack me up! LOVE YOUR SUGGESTIONS.
I don't get the back and forth between Jasper and River. Did I miss something?

lac925's picture

My SD12 always (ALWAYS) leaves her wet towels (after having her half-showers) on the bathroom floor :/ I just step over them and leave them for DH to find so he can tell her to stop being lazy and put her towels in the hamper.

At 12, one should be fully able to put their sh*t away...and flush the toilet after going!

Rags's picture

Take a pic of her toilet mess on your cell phone and text it to DH and the 12yo with the message. "Guess who forgot yet again to deal with her toilet/menstrual mess?"

If once or twice does not fix it... expand the DL to a broader group ultimately including family and her friends. That should do the trick. }:)

chovanlyn's picture

If it makes you feel any better, my 15 year old used to "forget" all of the time. I would always call her to flush it and talk to her about it. "I would be so embarrassed." "Whats going to happen when you have friends over and you forget?" "Maybe you should focus on remembering before you get laughed at over it at school." These are the types of things I would say. She got better and mostly flushes now, only rarely forgets.
I would not start a social media war. She probably has a camera on her phone too and could probably get some embarrassing pics of you to post or just make up stuff to cause you trouble. Adults don't have time for that - but kids do.

Cover1W's picture

I had this issue - the only time I dealt with it head-on was when we all shared a bathroom.
I wouldn't stand for it. I drug them back in there no matter what. Heard the "It wasn't me" and "I didn't do it" or "I flushed" after I saw them come out of the bathroom, no toilet flush and went and looked.

Now they have their own bathroom and it's better.
SD10 reverted back to not flushing for a while, but SD12 was REALLY mad at her. DH tried sticking up for SD10 but I had SD12's back. Made SD10 go back and flush. Told both of them "remember when I was making sure you were flushing....? It's gross isn't it?"

No issue since.

If it's your breaking point and you share a bathroom, then go get SD out of her room and make her flush it. It's basic common decency.

Rags's picture

Saran Wrap!!!! It worked wonders for my parents getting us to clean the toilet. If we left it dirty ... after we went to bed saran wrap would be put over the opening of the toilet and whichever of us was unfortunate enough to get up and use the toilet in the middle of the night had a major mess to clean up. }:)

This started when we were a bit older but it made a major point.

GypsyRosie's picture

Ugh both my skids (9yo twin boys) do this constantly and never wash their hands, and get pee everywhere. We share a bathroom. I threaten to stand in the bathroom with them lol. But it doesn't help. Its pretty much a reflex now if I hear the bathroom door open to yell "flush, wash your hands, turn off the light!"