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SD's allowed to refer to me as "you know who"

LAS's picture

My SD's text my husband and refer to me as "you know who" and he only replies to them with "I understand" ....I am furious. We are going through a hard time and this may just put the nail in the coffin! I cannot remember the last time I was this hurt!

hereiam's picture

I just want to ask these men, "Why would you marry a woman, for whom you care so little about, that you let your kids treat them with such disrespect?"

And your husband encourages it!

LAS's picture

Thank you for your comments...I am truly hurt over this. He does not see it as I see it. He still thinks they are kids and this will end. It has been ten yrs now! It will never end until he puts his foot down and I don't see that happening. Sad LAS

LAS's picture

I have asked him to think about his parenting skills on many occasions. He thinks he does a great job with it. I think differently.

Teas83's picture

That's incredibly disrespectful of your SDs, and even more disrespectful that your husband allows it.

sandye21's picture

Quit calling him by his name and call him 'What's his name', then laugh like it's a joke. When he protests tell him "I understand." This will probably put the final nail in the coffin but if he has so little respect for you it wouldn't be a loss.

Hereiam asked, "Why would you marry a woman, for whom you care so little about, that you let your kids treat them with such disrespect?" This is something I would like the answer for also.

Before DH and I got married he was on his best behavior. Shortly afterward I was asking, "What happened?" I have always wondered if there was an ulterior motive for him marrying me. SD was just about to go into college and he was making minimum wage (which he had lied about). I was afraid of the failure of another divorce or I would have annulled it. I held on for over 20 years of putting up with what the OP is experiencing before I finally put my foot down and took my life back. He treats me like he loves me now and knows I would never put up with being called "you know who" by his daughter or anything else she used to dish out.

You didn't say how many years you have been married but no marriage is worth putting up with disrespect. The main reason we don't do anything about it is from fear. Go to a therapist to work on your self confidence and getting over your fear.

LAS's picture

We have been married almost 10ys. We are supposed to be attending therapy but him being Over the road driver never can make or keep an appointment.
I guess I need to make a decision here. This is going to be a tough one.
LAS

thinkthrice's picture

Over the road driver, eh? I would have the locks changed when he comes back. Or if it's his house, be out by the time he gets back for a visit. Perhaps the time spent away was the only thing keeping the relationship alive and he was actually pining for his miniwives more than you.

I would SOOO love it if Chef were an OTR driver!!! Ahh the alone time would be so freeing!!

LAS's picture

we just back together after a six month separation...guess he learned nothing being out of the home and living in his truck. Just not sure where to go with this. LAS

still learning's picture

DH and I were supposed to attend therapy together too. The disrespect and interruption in our marriage from ss30 had gotten to be too much for me. DH backed out and refused to go so I went alone, at first I was miffed at DH but it was the best thing I could have done for our relationship. I learned how abnormal ss30's behavior was and that I did not have to accept it. Immediately I started drawing boundaries as to what I would accept into my life. The main result has been that I have disengaged from ss30. I am socially polite and listen when dh has a moment of reminiscing about ss30 as a child. I'll laugh w/him, hear the same old story and then change the subject. If I attend a gathering where ss is, I'll walk in, greet everyone else and just ignore him, just like he does to me. No more going out of my way for him at all.

My point is this: Attend therapy, it will do you good.

sandye21's picture

Don't wait for him to go to joint counseling. Go by yourself and work on getting self confidence so you can better deal with the situation.

Monchichi's picture

Ignore it Smile I do. I am her, that women, she or nothing at all and my SS is all of 7. He was taught I don't matter and I don't engage it.