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New craziness

Rasnya's picture

Submitted by Rasnya on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 1:30pm

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General Discussion

So a while ago I posted about DH wanting to get custody of SD (12). Well, that hasn't happened bc he doesn't have enough money to go to court and start a whole battle. And there is nothing majorly wrong with BM or the way that she parents.

Now, DH has over the years brainwashed the SD to severely dislike her mom. I've seen this clear as day. And the only issue is that both parents disagree on how to deal with misbehaving. The BM sometimes slaps/hits while DH is totally against it.

:jawdrop: So here goes the plan that the two of them have in order for SD to come live with us. DH has told her to act totally crazy one day and drive mom bonkers, be disrespectful, etc. whatever it takes. Then the BM will hit her, at this point she runs to her room locks herself in and calls the police. When they come she will cry hysterical, etc. create a whole scene and tell them that she wants to be taken to her father.

DH thinks this is a plan and that this will work!!! He has spoken to SD and they both plan to carry it through. I am totally shocked at how deceitful such a thing is. I can't even wrap my head around it. Fine, if he wants custody try to get it the proper way, but this is just so low.

I need advice!!!!!!

Last In Line's picture

Submitted by Last In Line on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 1:33pm

Uhm...tell him you will have no part of this. That if they pull that stunt you will be out the door. I couldn't be with a man who would teach a child to be part of such a foul manipulative scheme. Doesn't it make you wonder if he has done similar things to you in order to get his way?

iluvcheese's picture

Submitted by iluvcheese on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 1:42pm

That is low and immature. Do they realize the cops may come and may say, why did your mom slap you? There's a difference between beatings and a slap, true abuse and the odd tap saying hey snap out of whatever you are doing. I realize this is a very touchy subject, but I doubt the cops want to be involved, nor the county, with a child that isn't being abused quite badly regularly. It's a waste of the counties resources and your man should be ashamed, when there are children out there that do need legitimate help and those resources. Their entire plan probably won't even work and if I'm being honest, if it wound up in court and I was called to the stand I wouldn't lie about such immature shenanigans.

My advice? I'm at a loss, because can you reason with a person doing such a ridiculous thing? I'm not sure! I think I'd stay out of it, for the most part, aside from telling my husband I don't think it's ok to teach a child to back stab and deceive and that I'm very ashamed of him and his role in this. He needs to stop and go about this the right away and consider the messages he is sending his child with such behavior and scheming.

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 1:42pm

Great plan. As long as DH realizes that once SD moves in with him, when SD is mad at him he can expect the police at the door. This time he won't even have slap her. SD will just claim he did.

I agree with Last in Line.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 1:43pm

Wow, this is a horrible nightmare. Your DH is the epitome of what's wrong with coparenting and split homes. Doesn't he realize that whenever his daughter doesn't get what she wants from him, she'll pull the same crap. False claims of abuse is disgusting. If I were you I would call the BM and give her a heads up on the situation she's about to get put in and start making my own way out of that fowl household. What happens when the SD moves in and she decides she doesn't like you either? We all can assume Daddy will have her back....so where will that leave you.

Icansorelate's picture

Submitted by Icansorelate on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 1:51pm

This and I would make it clear to DH that you will testify in court and tell the truth of what happened.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 1:51pm

I would give the BM a heads up - on my way out the door.

Your husband is an asshole of epic proportions.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 2:32pm

That was the first thing that popped into my head as I read this.

Call mom-IN FRONT OF YOUR HUSBAND- and let her know what's going on.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 3:10pm

I agree with the others - he is an a-hole to teach his daughter to act like this. He is a psycho-path or sociopath or maybe both.

I don't understand how you can love or respect someone who would stoop so low.

Stepped in what momma's picture

Submitted by Stepped in what... on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 4:41pm

I don't know that you need advice as bad as you need some running shoes. Get the hell out of there, something is wrong with your DH to something this horrible to anyone under any circumstances. AND if you think you're safe from this team of freaks, think again, bc when you do piss them off look at what they are capable of doing.

Disillusioned's picture

Submitted by Disillusioned on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 9:07pm

That is called 'parental alienation' (PAS) and one day that may well back-fire on him when she grows up and realizes what they did to BM, not to mention that BM wasn't that bad

He is messing up his kid and that makes HIM the bad parent. Grrrrr!!!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 7:10am

Call the police/CPS in SD's town and tell them about the plan. I would nip this crap in the bud before you get stuck with this disgusting dynamic duo of lying manipulative shit.

Then go find a lawyer and get your POS DH out of your life.

Rasnya's picture

Submitted by Rasnya on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 10:28am

OP here, thanks for responding......
I know so many of you have basically said to separate, but that's easier said than done......
DH is nice to me and my child, there is really just this issue.

I just don't get it. He is so desperate to get custody that he will stoop so low, and yes it is a horrible thing to do wrong on every level. I don't know what to do. I've thought of contacting BM, but how do I do this in a completely anonymous way? If he would ever find out, wow!!!! that would be the end of everything.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 12:19pm

I'm sure there was a time when your husband was nice to BM as well. :sick:

This jerk is showing what lengths he will go to when he's done being nice. Get this dope made enough, and he will take steps to make you lose your kid. He could talk his daughter into lying about you abusing her. If she believed, CPS will take your child from you. Are you really willing to risk that. WHEN SOME ONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM.

Why give mom the heads up anonymously? If what you say is true, don't be afraid to tell and own it.