DW completely understands issues with SS14 and can explain it to him

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After enduring a Sunday at home trying to do some work, while enduring the constant dialog between SS14 and DW, I finally lost it and talked to DW about it (when SS14 was not in the room), calling him a choice word and describing the nuthouse behavior that goes on for hours, making it so I can't concentrate and may want to spend my weekends outside instead.

After calming DW down about using such a nasty word to describe her precious cupcake, she at least acknowledged the point and said we should talk to him (letting her do the talking).

She sat him down and gave him a very good explanation of the basic issues, which, whether or not SS ever gets the point, I now know that DW understands completely.

Among other things, she told SS14 that his constant dialog drives me crazy, and she acted out this dialog try to help him understand, which I'll spell out here for your reading enjoyment:

"Mommy, mommy mommy! Do you love me? You hate me! Mommy, mommy! I love you Mom. You hate me! Do you love me? [Sound of him blowing kisses], Aarrghh! (when asked to do a small chore) You're killing me! No! Mommy! Do you love me? You hate me!"

(This is a very short version of it. It goes on for hours.)

DW explained to SS14 that this dialog is not normal. She added that she doesn't notice it because she's used to it, but really, it's not normal.

She went on to explain to him why I'm disengaging and that I have tried to engage as a parent in the best way I knew how, but it didn't work and also that I'm disengaging because SS14 doesn't want to speak to me. And that from now on, I won't be taking him anywhere or doing things for him.

There's more to this, but it does show that DW gets the point.

Yep, that is not normal for a

Yep, that is not normal for a 14 yo boy... he seems to have some serious social skills issues. Does he act like that just at home or is he acting strangly at school too?

I have a kid with social skills issues, and even though he's in classes, the physician did explain that it was up to us to keep teaching normal conversation behavior. So your DW has started to, but she has to be consistent and do it every day.

My DH has to keep explaining that he doesn'tlike it when SS acts like a baby, walks on his tippy toes, and says DADDEEE! It is happening less now that DH has expressed that he doesn't like it... consistency is key.

He only acts this way (baby

He only acts this way (baby talk and compulsive whiny and tantrum dialog) when he's at home (that is, with his mother, not with me - he avoids me as much as possible). He also does it with his grandparents, who raised him together with DW. DW was a divorced single mother and his grandparents were indulgent. No rules. Candy and junk food all day, McDonald's (or Wendy's) happy meal for dinner, which DW drove to get from the take out window and bring home to him, nearly every night.

When I first met SS, he was 8 and acted 3 (or maybe 5) and I realized he had been raised as a house pet. So, I got a feral child who moved in with me, along with my wife. I'm just realizing now (this forum and the book Stepmonster has just arrived in the mail today) that I have tried to changed the way he was raised, and how this is not possible, and will never be.

Being that he needs DW or the grandparents to do his script means there have to be counterparts to play the roles. He doesn't do it at school, simply because there is no one there who would do this with him and he would be embarrassed to act this way in front of the other kids (there's an upside to peer pressure too). The rare occasions he brings a friend over, there is none of this behavior, until they leave.

We've gone to some parent teacher meetings and with the glowing terms they used to described SS, I thought they must be talking about someone else. But it's a Jekyll and Hyde kind of situation.

DW is not likely to teach him to stop this. Though this conversation came about because I am disengaging and she was explaining what that is going to mean for him.

YouTube!!!!!!! Plaster the

YouTube!!!!!!! Plaster the net with his crap so he can finally own it. Once his peers catch on to it they will shred his baby ass and that can only be a good thing and only have a positive result on his maturity considering how disgustingly pathetic he is at this stage.

14? Really?

""Mommy, mommy mommy! Do you

""Mommy, mommy mommy! Do you love me? You hate me! Mommy, mommy! I love you Mom. You hate me! Do you love me? [Sound of him blowing kisses], Aarrghh! (when asked to do a small chore) You're killing me! No! Mommy! Do you love me? You hate me!"

(This is a very short version of it. It goes on for hours.)"

I think I would have gone to the garage and done bong hits off of the tailpipe of my car long ago if I had to live with this crap. Either that or taken the kid on a tragic offshore fishing trip. Figuratively of course.