Girlfriend and her two kids moved in
Im 44 and my GF and I have been dating a couple years. She moved in with me about 6 months ago with her 3yr old daughter and 6yr old son and I think we both immediately knew it was a mistake. She moved a couple hours from her home town to stay here but Im ready to call it quits. Her son is fine, he's needy but nothing unusual but her daughter is a terror, I really don't want anything to do with her. She has these manic episodes from temper tantrum to manic laughing to get her way. My GF isn't consistent with disciplining so they both talk back and she just blows it off. She is constantly asking me to be a father figure to her kids when I already see them 10x as much as my own daughter so I usually just come up with a reason not to spend time with her kids. We've had several blow outs and Ive been pretty blunt about how I feel and that Id prefer they move out as soon as she can afford to. She always seems to ignore the flags that things arent good and wont admit she's miserable but I was much happier when I lived alone as I know she must have been too.
I have a 10yr old daughter as well who is here odd weekends and 1 night a week. My daughter is pretty much hands off, good grades, good behavior tell her one time, anything and that's it. I have a 3br house so her daughter and her son share a room but some of my daughters room has been taken over by the new daughters stuff as well. Im not a good step dad and I feel guilty not giving 100% when my daughter is here especially since I only have few years left while she still thinks her dad is cool. How do I get her to move? Im thinking when she is caught up with finances and wants to start looking for a new family house I just stay here and ask her again to look without me. It should only cost me about 1yr of my life
Is your intentions to break
Is your intentions to break up with your girlfriend once she does find her own place? Surely you must have known how her children's behavior was BEFORE you agreed to have her move in with you, considering you have been dating a few years now.If you want your girlfriend to move out, then you be completely honest with her meaning you tell her exactly how you feel and what you want and what you expect to happen. I don't know your entire story obviously, but from the sounds of it you two have been dating a few years already, and I assume you love her? Have you thought about couples counseling to work through these issues, parenting classes as she needs to learn discipline strategy's?
If you are serious; begin
If you are serious; begin with a verbal notice for her to move and a deadline. If she doesn't move, begin eviction process; this process is slow, but works.
Stay away from her and her children as much as possible during the process of getting her to move. You don't need any further issues with GF.
Nobody knows how hard step
Nobody knows how hard step parenting is going to be. I think we all go in thinking it's going to work.
All break ups cause guilt, but if you are unhappy, its best to get out now before the children get attached. The more you delay it, the harder it will be on the kids when it does happen... and it sounds like it will.
This woman's financial situiation is not your responsibility (unless you asked her to stop working to be a stay at home mom and watch your kid). She's an adult and you're not her parent.
She took a risk moving in with you (as we've all done here), it didn't pan out, oh well, she will survive.
RUN FORREST (before you knock this girl up and get stuck!!!)
I don't know how you date
I don't know how you date someone for a couple of years and either not know or not care about how the children are(or her parenting style is) before you move them in. or move them in knowing how it is.
True!
True!
I read the topic and said oh
I read the topic and said oh no!
Sir, I have to put this disclaimer before I say this "IMHO", Don't wait, pull a couple grand out of the bank and help set your GF and her kids up in a apt or rental, whatever, just help find them somewhere to live. Do whatever it takes to get them out of your house ASAP! Could it work if they stayed, sure but thats a big if! You asked them to move in, so it's your responsibility to help them move out...don't wait, spend the money, it would be the best investment you've ever made.
I was once in your situation, I even put cash aside to set them up if it didn't work out. Thing is, I didn't pull the plug when I had the chance. You can and you want too, so do it and never look back!