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The Gist of It

54andTired's picture

Nine years ago I married a wonderful man after only 8 months of dating bliss. One of my favorite qualities in him was the love and support he had for his kids, something my children didn't get throughout most of their childhood years. As a couple, we've been fine, even with the expected blended family issues. However, the past year has been a living hell with my SD. Sad

Here's the story:

Once upon a time, my new husband and I lived with my teenage son in the house I had pre-marriage. My daughter, now 28, was already out on her own and my SKs lived with their mom. I assumed we'd have the typically every Wednesday and every other weekend set-up and initially, we did. While the SKs were young, we had a great relationship. They had a number of issues with their hands-off mom and I believe they found comfort in our home on the weekends.

Fast forward a few years and my SS (12) called and asked to live with us because his mom wanted to throw him out. On the very same day we picked him up, made arrangements with the friend-of-the-court, enrolled him in our community school and created him a room of his own. All was good.

Fast forward a year and the SD (18) called and asked to live with us after high school graduation. We moved her in, converted a bedroom into HER bedroom and all was good. Three out of four kids living with us and the only issue was between my college age son (20) and DH, trying to determine who was the man of the house. Son eventually moved out on his own. All was good.

Now it gets interesting. Another year rolls by and we realize we need to move closer to our jobs and closer to my SS sports team. SD gets mad because she didn't like the new place and moves back with mom, but leaves a few things behind in "her" room. Although tension fills the air, I'll still say all was good. However, another year and another life change. My daughter, married with child wants to move back home from out of state. Without jobs in the area, they all move in with us...yes, into "her" room. Apparently SD was furthered angered by 1) being displaced out of the house, even though she wasn't in it anyway and 2) not being properly thanked at the baby shower.

Since then, I've been cast as a horrible person and barrier between SD and DH, by none other than the SD herself. Reasons, if any really exist, are unknown to me. That's the Gist of It.

Up next...Thoughtfulness? Guilty as Charged

Comments

hereiam's picture

Your SD had moved back to her mom's, she no longer has a room that is just hers at your house.

What did she expect to be thanked for?

I wouldn't worry about what she thinks or what she says; her not having a room there doesn't mean she still can't have a relationship with her dad, she is reaching for an excuse to cast you as the bad guy.