Issues with 9yo stepdaughter
I am at a loss of what to do anymore. My 9yo SD has alot of emotional issues. They all stem from her bio mother. She was molested as a toddler by one of her mother's boyfriends. She has anxiety and adhd also. She is also very disrespectful and disobedient and gets in trouble in school almost every day.
A couple weeks ago, my 5yo bio son told me he had sex (although i know its not physically possible). I was stunned to hear those words come out of his mouth. He said it was with her. I held back tears and confronted her calmly. I told her she wasn't in trouble and i wasn't mad, but i needed to know everything so i could get her proper help. She admitted to touching his privates and making him touch/lick hers and also making them touch.
I have had alot of issues convincing myself that i can in fact help her. Also, not having hatred towards her for molesting my 'baby' boy.They are not allowed to be alone together whatsoever. I don't trust her.
We've tried every discipline action possible and we have also put her in counseling, and therepy. Nothing is seeming to work. Any advice?
I'm at a loss with this. My
I'm at a loss with this. My DS reported to me when he was 5 that SD had molested him. She was already in counseling due to being caught molesting a fellow student in the girls bathroom by a teacher. I demanded that she not be left alone with her. And since my DH would have a hard time keeping an eye on her and our other 2 younger children, I refused to allow her anywhere near my kids unless i was there. She was only allowed to be in the living room, she could not play in the bedroom. When she was over, all my kids slept in my room. I was so fearful that she would strike again. I have to admit that this is the main reason why i have issues with this SD.
I had long talks with my DS. What a good touch is and a bad touch. What is ok and what is not. And to always tell me if something happened that made him feel uncomfortable.
I cant really give you advise since everybody's situation is different, but I would report this and place your son in counseling.
I think you have to protect
I think you have to protect what is precious to you. Only you know what is necessary to do that.
I also think you should do some reading or get some counselling yourself, so that you can decide how you want to approach this with your son. You want him to understand that what happened crossed boundaries and it can't happen again - you want him to understand why. Good/bad touches, his body, when seeing and touching other people's private parts is ok (doctors, when you're grown up). You want him to know that he didn't do anything wrong... but it's still not ok. I don't know how to approach that myself, because there is so much that can be confusing - it's just not meant to be a conversation with a small child.
Good luck, and I wish you strength during this difficult time.
I have a friend who was
I have a friend who was dating a man with a nine year old girl. She primarily lived with her mom but she touched her younger siblings. So my friend and he bf became the primary home. This was all decided by the court. Now she is a much healthier child and has never repeated the actions from before. I think it's a serious issue and my heart is so sad for you and what you must be feeling. If I were in your situation I would get help, get the courts involved. This is not okay.
Please contact your closest
Please contact your closest Child Advocacy Center. Explain the situation to them. They can help.