Are there any ways to avoid multiple trips to court over school absences?
Some background:
SD7 has had multiple days being late to school (10+) so far this school year, 1 explained absence, 3 unexcused absences (ie BM forgot to make up a lie and send it to the school), and one case of pulling SD out of school early.
Now a couple of these are for doctors appointments (though I would argue that appointments can be made for after school time) but the rest are for BS reasons or simply that BM can't get a 7 year old up and ready for school on time.
SD7's teacher is very concerned about the absences and they are definitely affecting her school work. SD had a bad year last year too, moving to 4 different schools and also having a similarly dismal attendance record.
Now that it has been pointed out maybe BM will pick up the slack and SD's attendance will improve and that would be great. BUT....if this pattern continues I understand that lack of school attendance can be used to win custody of a child in court and we would consider this approach so that SD can get the education that she deserves.
My main question is:
How does my husband avoid having to go to court 2 or 3 times and BM pleading that she will get better and make sure that SD gets to school in time etc and the judge giving her multiple chances to improve before finally realizing that she never will and we win custody? Is there a way that BM can officially be made to make a pledge to get her daughter's attendance up without going to court? This record could then be used against her in court if she doesn't improve after multiple pledges? (If you haven't guessed it, this is trying to save money and hassle of court, if there is no way around it then please let me know).
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Comments
Thanks for your reply. Our
Thanks for your reply. Our first hope is that BM just gets fed up of having to be a mother* (she can't cope for more than 6 or 7 days at a time with SD with out complaining) and voluntarily agrees to a change of custody. But that too is a long shot (though wouldn't be the first time she has done it). Just trying to find out as much as we can about our options.
*not that she would stop being a mother for all those who will complain at me for this, but that she won't have to do the day to day grind of parenting.
Is she getting CS? Because
Is she getting CS? Because they will quite literally fight to the death to keep custody, but most importantly CS!!!
She is, my husband is
She is, my husband is considering offering to continue some from of CS payments for a limited time to her if SD lives with us. It may work, she really does struggle to parent her daughter.
"Where I am from, kids
"Where I am from, kids watching a BM smoke meth isn't even enough to have a kid, "riped from his mother's arms ".
Best of luck.
^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^
Usually they give the BM an infinite number of chances. Turn of the previous century "Tender Years Doctrine" doncha know.
In my case, the BM IS a CPS WORKER and truancy is common as the day is long.
Many, many "warning" notifications come in the mail stating that the two younger skids are constantly late, absent the whole day or skipping school. Part of this is due to the fact that the BM allows, in particular, SD16 to stay at another underachieving friend's house on weekDAYS and they stay up all night, thus missing school the next day. The oldest just BARELY passed High School with a pity grade one point above failing. The younger two CRATER FAIL constantly.
But yet the BM is looked at in her community as MOTY and a pillar of corn fed, all-American, girl next door, soccer mom phoenix who rose from the ashes of divorce (TM)
And I wouldn't want CHEF to get custody because he is JUST as bad a parent as the BM (unable to say NO, guilty daddykins).
That sucks that neither
That sucks that neither parent can be bothered to get their kids a proper education. That makes me angry that parents can mess up their kids lives like that.
I am hoping that as SD is still only 7 and cannot be responsible for getting herself to school on time and is not actively playing truant herself but her mother is keeping her from school it will hold more weight than if we waited until she was older and it could be blamed on the child and not BM. We will see.
We have a few things up in the air at the minute so no idea how anything is going to play out, just looking for ideas right now.
Did the school ever come up with an intervention plan for the kids because of the truancy?
The school does nothing other
The school does nothing other than "warn" because the BM is practically the MAYOR of that town. It's her hometown and alma mater. All the school officials and educators are the BM's contemporaries and "BFFs" so NOTHING is ever done.
In fact, Chef was told that his opinion doesn't matter by the very high ranking school officials there because he is, and I quote, "the non-custodial parent."
wow, that is crazy that no
wow, that is crazy that no one will hold her accountable, understandable if their jobs are at risk I suppose but still you would have thought one person would care about the kids.