pregnant and dont know what to do with step childs actions
Hello, I am a kinda new step mom who is pregnant with her first child. I have been living with my husband for a year and half. my husband does have a toddler who is two. my problem is the toddler make me feel like he hates me. when we are at home around his grandparents he treats me like crap. he tells/ shows them he doesn't want anything to do with me. he'll cry when I go around him and tell them "gabby no". he only acts like this around everybody but his dad. there's other times that he's the totally opposite, he's grandma will ask him whose your mom and he'll tell her that I am. He's mom is in the picture once a month, so I took the role of his mom, I feed, bathe, everything for him but I still get nothing from him. but he's only like this when there's others around. when its just me and him he's good with me, he doesn't do anything to make me feel like he hates me. he's well behaved until he gets around his dads family. he's and lately his grandma has been acting as if am the bad person. like I actually treat him badly. and I feel like crap.
what do I do, how do I get it to stop.
Like fighting said it's the
Like fighting said it's the push and pull of developing independence. Even when they are your bio a two year old can be like this. Honestly the only thing that seems odd is his grandma asking him who his mom is. Maybe she's putting pressure on him and that's what he is saying no to.
Good advise above - get that
Good advise above - get that child development book it'll do double duty. Amazon.com has a huge selection just use "child development" in the search option.
Grandma is trying to guide baby towards his bio-mother for reasons unknown as this grandma is her sons child. Material grandmother is more understandable when she does this as she is protecting her daughter the mother.
Your husband must notice this but apparently doesn't step in. Have a sit down with him and tell him you want him to explain to grandma how this is making it difficult for you and he to maintain discipline and raise the child in general how the two of you want him raised. He is to explain that she is welcome to give advise out of ear shot of the child but never bring up the bio-mother or interfere with the parenting done by either one of you. If the child makes a comment about bio-mother then they're welcome to react normally to it but keep any responses to a minimum. "Oh that's nice" as an example then change the subject.
Furthermore when Daddy sees the child doing this then there are age appropriate consequences starting with "NO you don't talk that way to Delgado" with further escalating consequences if that fails to solve the problem at least temporarily. If he is not around don't be shy about correcting this kid as you would a child of your own. Grandma's been put on notice to stay out of it. I know you're inexperienced but its time to claim ownership of this kid before he can't be corrected.
Give husband several chances but if he can't or won't do this then further tell him you won't be visiting his relatives when he goes just to have a child embarrass or chastise you without consequences. If that doesn't do it then don't go over there again until you feel he can do his part.