So Tired Of Games
I have been married to my husband for 9 years. When we first married BM did not want to be a mom even though she had custody I had the kids. Now she has recently remarried and the kids are older and she wants to be mom. I am having a real hard time stepping back.
The oldest SD is 16 & just like mom. A pathological lier. She play BD like a fine violine just like mom did. Since mom has remarried I have been cut completely out of the picture and have no say in anything. BD is clueless. Love him but dread the weekends when they are visiting. EX continuely pulls s*** but he is so afraid of making her mad we just look over it. For example we had the kids for 5 months in 2007 so we didn't pay child support (I know now that was stupid)In 2010 we got papers served that we were in arrearages from those months. She stood up in court and lied. But we are now paying back. Now it is 2013 and SD is driving. She works and goes to school. But she is very sneaky and can look you in the eye and lie. Learned from BM. Anyway BM has asked that we pay car insurance and because BD feels gulty for not being with the kids we are. OH, FYI she wanted the divorce and had multiple affairs while they were married. We pay al medical, dental and vision insurance and now we are paying anything else left over because BD is afraid BM will have us back in court. But I don't care we are hiding nothing. The way she drew the divorce up BD is screwed until they have completed 5 years of college. Youngest SD is miserable living with mom but want say anything because mom guilts her. Oldest SD plays the whole world against the middle using us all. Except I have step back. But me & BD argue a lot when oldest is coming because she is always whispering to him, trying to exclude me, taking my things, just trying to provoke a reaction. And when I try to talk to dad we argue because he feels guilty that he only has them on weekends. The 16SD has no rules no boundries she is treated like an adult. I have caught her several times in lies and bad situation. BM talks to her PERIOD that is her discipline. My own children had real discipline. I feel like I am a guest in my own home when SD is there. I resent BD and get so confused. My heart says you love him stay My brain says run like hell! Because of all the BS the ex continually pulls financially I would be better alone. I am the main bread winner. My childred love my husband but it is hard for them to see has his SD & ex treats me.Especially sine the firs 6 years of our marriage I was the only true mom the step kids had. Should I run or stay. And how can I make my husband see that he is being played and manipulated by his BD just like he was by her mom.
Just wondering. If your
Just wondering. If your husband is this quilty that he has assumed all of this debt from BM and you are the main breadwinner who is the one paying for all of this? Does your husband have anything left to pay any of your joint household bills? If he is unable to do his fair share of he household costs he is unfairly dumping the costs of his quilt onto you.
I am paying probably 90% of
I am paying probably 90% of our debt. I have even liquidated my retirement to cover things. So that is why it is so hard for me when BM is now using the SD and my husband just refuses to see it. So tired of worrying about money. I was a single mom I bought both my BD a car but they paid for their own ins, gas & cell phones. Sometimes I feel like I shorted my kids dealing with my SKs and no one appreciates it. My mom died 2 months ago. She had been the SDs grandmother for 9 years. BM wouldn't even let them attend the funeral. It feels like all the things that I have done and buried is now overflowing
Any man who is "afraid of
Any man who is "afraid of making BM mad" isn't worth spitting on.
I must add that in the
I must add that in the beginning of mine and DH's relationship, he was petrified of pissing off BM because she had threatened to take SD away from him. He was convinced that she'd risk going to jail by breaking their court order.
I had to assure him that it was highly unlikely she'd flee the state (or the country) especially once he old me she made about $11 per hour and only worked part time at a retail store in town. Unless she had some major hidden cash flow and a getaway plan, she wasn't going anywhere.
He soon thereafter put his foot down with her and she never threatened to take the kid away again until just recently after she'd PAS'd the kid so badly she didn't want to resume visitations. DH went to court and hashed it out, but yeah, BM got primary residence due to the kid's age (14) and preference.
But yeah, DH is a great man and I wouldn't give him up for the world. He was just scared of losing his daughter.