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Easter reflections

Newimprvmodel's picture

So far have had a very nice morning with dh and my kids. We all went to church and I kept looking at all the little girls in their Easter dresses and thought how painful it must be for my dh. I know he again called his daughter this week and she basically stuck to her story. If she can not trump me, she will not have anything to do with him. He of course texted her this morning. A small part of me feels guilty on this Easter Sunday, but she made the choice years ago and still makes the choice to not accept her father's marriage, and happiness. I will not let her in my door. She could have reached out to me so many times over the past several years to let me know she had remorse or respect for our marriage finally. But nothing....just again her own self centered control of her father.
I just do not understand this pattern of dh running after his daughters and ex. He had been doing this with his ex since the early days. I guess it stems from low self esteem and the need to people please. He now has this mission to save one of his daughters, and I am thwarting that. So far he seems accepting now of my stance, I guess I need to respect his.

sterlingsilver's picture

I have something similar with my two younger sisters who have blocked me from their lives b/c I married dh. At first I was so upset and tried calling a couple times and then wrote a long aplogy letter. Now I am just letting it go b/c they are acting immature and it's their issue and as for me, I am getting on with my life and holding my chin high and know that one day something will get through to them and then they'll contact me and act all non chalant like they can just walk back into my life, and I will let them slowly back in. I tried groveling and was so low in my self esteem about the whole matter until my older sis told me that if that's how they want to be I have to let it be that way. I have done no wrong. It still hurts like hell though...

Onefootout's picture

I don't know why people practice all this shunning. They need therapy. My SO's two grown daughters won't speak to him. They get on facebook and call their stepdad "daddy." And they call SO by his first name. Little BM mini-me's. Oh well, maybe they'll grow up and get over it. I'm so sorry for everyone that has to deal with this.

Everyone has a right to be in love and find a long term relationship without being punished for it.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Well his daughter never responded to dh today. Some people only know how to play a victim role, and she has been doing it for years. No remorse. No respect of our marriage, and certainly no respect of her father. The more I see of their engagement, the better I feel keeping her out of my space.

Newimprvmodel's picture

And I do have to give credit to my dh, who has been putting his marriage first, which is why he is in the doghouse with his daughter. She on the other hand, has shown her true colors, which shows me that nothing has changed in her heart or mind toward me. She tells dh that she "has no problem" with me or my kids. That is cope out speak when you can't say anything good about the person!