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Its me again

nicole's picture

Not only is he going to his ex step childrens graduation...he has put them on his insurance as the beneficiaries.....If any of you have been following my drama let me know what you think

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melis070179's picture

Why? On life insurance you mean?

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

nicole's picture

Yes he has them down as beneficiaries on his life insurance....i know we arent married yet,,,we have been together for 5 years...The reason i know this is that we work in the same office and we had to update our insurance...which im part-time and have no insurance...

sweetthing's picture

If you are getting this drama now & he doesn't treat your daughter well, cut your loses & be glad he has shown his true side now. He isn't going to change w/o wanting to change. I have little boys for skids so I can't relate to adult girl drama, ( they seem to be the worst from what I see here other than crzy BMs) but those kids are going to lead by his example & his example stinks!

melis070179's picture

Um..did he ever pay child support? Was this in a divorce decree? Or is this just something he has chosen to do? Does he plan on changing this when you guys get married?

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

nicole's picture

No he never paid child support, but he had them on his health insurance and now life insurance...I dont know what he plans...Im blown away by this....I mean its hard to deal with when you know these arent his kids ya know...im not trying to be mean or the bad guy

melis070179's picture

Trust me, I understand your feelings. I'd ask him his plans for once you guys get married, because you should at least be one of the beneficiaries, and considering their ages, you probably should be the only one!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

KittyKat's picture

Nicole,

You and he need to seriously TALK and find out what his intentions are and WHERE YOU STAND!! If you are "third" in
line behind these daughters, I would run like hades. Once
you "tie the knot" and he "has you", so to speak, it's not
that easy to cut and run. NOW you have leverage. If you don't
like what he's telling you, you can either COMPROMISE or tell
him that you will not commit under certain circumstances.

That IS the issue many of us have. Believe me things are MUCH
better now that two of the adult SDs have married and have
accounts, etc. with their OWN spouses, but I really wanted to
book early after getting married. Once you have mortgages,
etc. in common, it is very VERY difficult to get out without
taking a financial hit.

I don't know how much you are willing to take, but I, personally
would not stand for being "third" in line, if that truly is
the case. Please do the asking NOW!! Don't wait another FIVE
DAYS rather than five more years! Hugs!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

and made me feel somewhat better when you said you want to book early after getting married. You all know that's where I'm at.

Nicole, girlfriend, I know some things can be difficult to bring up before getting married, but you have to-to protect your future! If you think bringing these issues to light now and getting them out in the open-wait till you see how hard it is being married to a man who worships his D's instead of his wife.

We're pulling for ya!

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

you should just leave? Remember the stomache ache over the way you were being treated? That's what I feel everytime SD17 is here. And it's not going to change anytime soon. So be prepared-if you marry your F, are you ready to spend holidays, any weekends they care to visit, anytime they come around, feeling like that?

nicole's picture

I ask him about the insurance policy and he said it has been like that for 5 years now...but he doesnt realize that i make the copies of the papers here at work...They updted the insurance just the other day and he had the chance to make changes...He didnt....Now he is all in my face..trying to be nice and loving...Hopeing I wont be upset.....He does this when it comes to them (his girls)and im just tired...

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

I'm not defending him at all but he is a guy right and if something such as insurance paperwork has been set up a certain way and once a year he gets a copy to check the details and ulta any changes, he probably didn't even think twice about it and didn't even check it. I know that I have done something like that and it wasn't until BF bought it to my attention that I changed it cause I didn't realise my ex husband was still on the paperwork.
What I do think is wrong is the fact that he does know about it and still doesn't want to change it :puzzled:.
Kitty Kat is right on, you need to talk to him otherwise you will never know where you stand.

We are all here for you hun, Good Luck.

acep74's picture

what are you still doing there? Leave .....
i understand he would leave something to them but not all of it....

Most Evil's picture

It sounds really weird to me that he is so concerned about 2 young women and what they think of him? Are you guys engaged and if so, are there plans to marry soon? I know they were Stepdad/SD, but it is still a little inappropriate to me?

It may still be just him being thoughtless, but if this insurance is brought to his attention and he does not change it to you ONLY if you are his fiancee/wife, I would raise holy hell and refuse to get married, and most likely break up with him. That is a disgrace!! What are you supposed to do if he dies?

These young girls need to find their own husband and have their whole lives to earn money, etc. but I am assuming you are a little older than they are, with less time and opportunity to do so.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

Sia's picture

sounds strange to me too.