Visitations and older SS
MY SS is 16, he is at his moms M-W and our house Th, F, S, S. He is becoming more independent now that he is16 going on 17; does anyone have any thoughts or input on allowing SS to visit BM more often or allow more freedom to visit BM on weekends if he wants?
SS has been asking to allow us to be flexible with the schedule and would like to go over BM on weekends sometimes.
The problem is, we had a really difficult time with BM when it came to visitation. BM took DH to court several times for visitation and was never happy with the out comes. BM only wanted more visitation days so she could get increased CS, this happened 3-4 years ago...not sure what to do. If we allow SS to visit more we're not sure if BM will try to go back to court claiming DH is giving up his visitation days. Anyone have some experience or advice?
And you could probably get
And you could probably get the lawyer to push court back until he is pretty much 18.
Personally I would let him do
Personally I would let him do go more if he wanted to. I'm assuming that your BM is not a bad influence or a complete whack job though. If there are problems at her house I would tell him no. At that age they should be given more of a choice IMHO.
It would look very bad on
It would look very bad on your DH if he tells him no because you're mother will just try to get more CS out of me. If you are worried about that have him spend the day with her on the weekends but get him at night. I wouldn't keep him from her, I mean, on the flip side what if it was him wanting to see DH more?
Thank you for the comment.
Thank you for the comment. DH never ever talks disrespectfully in front of SS about BM.
He doesn't discuss CS, visitation or anything that would disrespect BM. BM is a piece of shit but it's still his mom; SS will figure it out when he gets older that his mom may not that great of a person. But that's on his own, no influence from DH or myself.
DH has let SS visit more with BM when asked but BM fills SS head with a bunch of bull about how DH doesn't pay CS, how he's not a good dad, how DH left her. (She got pregnant from some other guy, while with DH. She has 3 children from 3 different guys. None, besides Dh, are taking care of their kids or in the kids life)
So although DH would like to try to let SS visit BM more, DH is hesitant.
The courts decided that
The courts decided that because she makes significantly less money than DH that she needs compensation when she has him. DH doesn't care about the CS as long as he gets to take care of his son. CS payment is not very much either so it's not worth fighting over. SS is almost 17 and so CS paying days are numbered.
As he is burgioning in his
As he is burgioning in his ability to transport himself and have more discretionary time I see no issue with telling him he can visit his mom just as he would his friends but he must be home in time to study and get to bed at a decent hour and he must keep you and his dad informed of where is and who he is with.
If he breaks those rules then jerk a knot in his tail, take his car keys, and lock down his discretionary time.