I'm new and Hello all. I just recently moved in with my girlfriend and her two kids. The oldest (16) was living with his father most of the time we've been together, so I didn't really know him and I trusted her to tell me that he is just awful,but she didn't. Her youngest (10) has lived with her and I know him pretty well and we get along pretty good when the oldest isn't around. Since we lived together he has been caught smoking pot TWICE in the house (this is a bigger issue than normal cause I'm currently fighting an ugly battle for my biological son), his aunt caught him with valium, he attempted to make a pipe out of an ink pen and got ink all over the carpet throughout the house, routinely lies, barely makes any effort on his chores, and yesterday he broke into our room through the window breaking the gutter as a result. His mother has really inflicted no punishment. She took away his cell phone, computer, and going out privelages, but still allows him to lay on the couch and watch TV all day and night which she justifies by sying that he is watching the youngest and the youngest shouldn't lose the TV privelages. Her and I are begining to fight about her lack of discipline and last week she even took the kids and stayed the night at her sisters because I was being to critical (so now I'm the bad guy). She has told me that I'm being passive aggressive when I go behind him 24 hrs later and clean the filthy kitchen that he was supposed to have done the night before....sorry but I can't stand a filthy kitchen. She even allows him to have control of the tv in the evening when we're home. I've decided to disengage myself and say to hell with her kids, but I don't know what else to do. If I wouldve done those things as a kid my mother would have made sure I paid hell for it so this is completly bizzare to me.

Any advice? what to do? what not to do?

Sorry if it's a little all over the place but I'm a little fired up.