skids demand my husband take them out places without me and my kids
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The painful drama queens (husbands BS 13 and 16) are calling and demanding he take them places without us...that they feel my husband does everything for my kids and nothing for them....
They live with their mad mother who is a narcissist pyschotic lunatic.
be interested in your views on if its appropriate
what does your DH think?
what does your DH think? this will influence any advice that people give you.
He isnt very keen .... seems
He isnt very keen .... seems to sidestep the issue and not give a definate yes or no....then I have noticed that I get asked to come along too....He hasnt taken them anywhere by themselves yet...but I know they are demanding it....My DH spent nearly 20 years missing me and he dont wanna be without me anymore....
Are "your" kids DHs kids
Are "your" kids DHs kids too?
Not that it matters other than if "your" kid are also your DHs then SD16 and SD13 are even more reprehinsible than if your kids are not your DHs.
When my SS is home he goes with his mom and I where ever we go and participates as a full member of the Rags clan. We do not do our own thing and leave him at home.
My SS gets alone time with his mom and with me on a fairly regular basis and has never requested to spend time with one or the other of us alone.
I think they should do both.
I think they should do both. Family stuff and time alone with their Dad. We do and it works great. They do need alone time with their Dad to cement that relationship, but their also has to be times when you are all a family. It is a balancing act that your DH has to do. He needs to let them know it is his call and not theirs to dictate.
All of you are absolutely
All of you are absolutely right....thank you thank you
No none are ours.....they are his....and mine live with us....and yes his ex would be feeding his crap. I actually got into him this morning before he went to work to say if he doesnt sort his kids out for saying horrible stuff about me and suggesting Im the enemy, then I will. That his kids are running around txting and saying stuff that shouldnt be said and its all lies made up by who knows... the worst bit is (apart from thinking they CAN do so) is that NO one is parenting them...telling them how that type of slander is not acceptable behaviour..or that type of cell phone use is wrong...that his ex who they live with allows them to do what ever they want and that they do not listen to my DH. That no parenting has been done for some time that in the end the kids take the role of parenting and order the parents telling them what they are doing. BM is a lesbian...obviously needs something descent shoved in her mouth...if my husband told his boys not to do something...she obviously would say 'no you dont have to' so when your 13 or 16....you do whats the easier option I guess.
I told DH , That kids need boundries and DISCIPLINE...they do something wrong they need to be told what they can and can not do and if they still do what is wrong they should expect and get consequences....tough love.
These kids of his refuse to do anything with us...and demand he buy them things and take them places alone or they will not go and then suggest that their father is bad and doesnt care for them when he does not comply...saying they wont go anywhere with me...like we are heading to the beach and they dont want to come and they call him useless cos he doesnt change his plans and just take them somewhere....now if that aint the ex talking then there is absolutely NO HOPe whatsoever for kids that think things up like that by themselves.
recently DH's sister...puts on a party...no they wouldnt go with us to that either...then called DH every half hour and gold only knows what crap they served him up...and what horrible txts they sent...
But the real horrors occures when they say crap about me to my kids and all the kids up the street....just found out about this off my kids last night
The kids did live here for a while with us but i think they felt their father was too cosy with me - paying me too much attention - they are not used to living in a house where two people love and respect each other...their father supported me on everything and they didnt like that...and of course I supported him on everything too. They would complain constantly when they had to go anywhere with us and would put some car sick act on and needed dunkin donuts to feel better....OMG such drama queens...my kids werent allowed to put that act on and obviously could see thru it...
I think they should to both too jsmom but when they dont do family stuff with us anymore...should they be allowed to manipulate their father into him feeling guilty if he doesnt take them somewhere alone?
Im at a stage where Im wondering if life is really worth this shit Im being fed....?
well see i have a similar
well see i have a similar problem only its my MIL who thinks my DH needs to take his kids out and do things without us. She is delusional and thinks that when the Skids go to their moms, we go out and do tons of things with my kids and we don't. But she says "thats their dad, he should be able to do things for his kids". So my kids are just suppose to be left out?? Yeah I don't think so and thankfully my DH doesn't think so either. What a bitch!
i'm a firm believer that
i'm a firm believer that "time with kids vs spouse" needs to always have a happy medium. does he always spend time out with them? if not, then whats wrong with them wanting this time. what dh and i do, we TRY everyother weekend that we do have the kids, he'll take his out while i stay home with mine and vise verse. if that can't be done (going out) then my dd and i will pile up in our room and watch a movie while dh and skids do something else.
Look...shopping with my
Look...shopping with my daughter occured and he did things with his kids....WHEN THEY LIVED HERE...COS YOU CANT DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER COS OF SPORT ETC..but Im not too keen on kids telling and demanding their BF to do as they say. In otherwords they say...YOU CANT SEE US UNLESS YOU TAKE US SOMEWHERE THAT WE WANNA GO TO AND IT HAS TO BE WITHOUT ME AND MY KIDS... they live with their psychotic mother who I think has put this shit in their heads so they actually feel they have a right to demand this....
mommy of 4...Im so lucky my MIL is wonderful to me...she is like my mother....and is on my side...interestingly the blood relations of these skids are all on my side and have often suggested these boys are nothing but trouble and they dont like them around too much.
i agree with that, then dh
i agree with that, then dh needs to put his foot down. my skids try to demand that, but he don't give them the "leverage"
somerg.....thank-you.... as I
somerg.....thank-you....
as I said....skids who are not being respectable towards adults (or anyone) need to be nipped in the bud. But when kids are being allowed to talk like that, demand like that, and get away with it...wot happens????
And whose fault is it???
And what are they going to grow up like?
I dont know what these kids were like before I was back on the scene but, I think they lack discipline and boundries...and have been getting away with what ever they want for way too long....
Dh said he will put his foot down but I think he is concerned the brats will never talk to him again....just because he might hurt their feelings???? give me a break :jawdrop:
one word...MANIPULATION. To
one word...MANIPULATION. To say "you can't see us unless..." is manipulation at its finest. And just think, they only get better as they get older *rolls eyes*. Wait til they get out in the real world and they realize that stuff just doesn't work.
yeah I said this
yeah I said this morning...that he better start parenting these kids cos no one else is....