This is my first post so forgive me if a stumble over some of the proper ways to do things. I have been with my dear boyfriend (DB) for almost 5 years now and the only reason we haven't married (besides horrible first marriages) is because our whole relationship has been long distance. We want to at least live in the same town for a while before we make a legal commitment. He is military and has 5 more years before reaching retirement. That is our goal before being able to co-habitate.
He has a 13yo son who he doesn't have custody of but gets for a time for the summer. I have 2 grown daughters and 1 daughter who is 19 and is still at home going to college.
My DB and I take turns traveling to see one another. Whenever I go to see him it is great because there are usually no kids around and we can live like 2 honeymooners with all the privacy we want/need. But when we are at my home he becomes super paranoid and doesn't even want to have sex if he thinks my BD might be awake and up in another part of the house. He says it's ok if his son is awake in his room because it's at the other end of the house but my daughter might hear us. He has gotten past this before and it wasn't much of an issue in the past but all of a sudden this visist he's making it a big issue. When I told him he was going to need to get over it because I wasn't going 3 weeks with no sex he then came up with another excuse - that he didn't want it to be an "appointment". Meaning he didn't want it to just happen at bedtime. Well, with his son around when else will it happen? I think he's making excuses, he says not to read more into it than what it is.
Does anybody else deal with this and how do you get around these insane excuses? DB use to joke about it with my older daughters now he's actually giving up the sex and we go months now between seeing each other so it's now or none. I don't get it!