I have had similar problems with my DH. We have DS3 and DS1 who live at home with us, while SS17 lives with BM. I notice that DH is more strict with our children than he is with SS. When I ask him why, he says it's because BM undoes everything he does as a parent. BM would rather be SS's best friend so she does not enforce rules or provide discipline.

I feel that it is important to treat all children (bio and skids) equally and fairly. The same household rules should apply to everyone.

I do not have any kids with my husband to be but we have kids blended in our family. He and I have issues of a 3 6 and 7 year old. all boys. I parent differently than him. I'm not as harsh or assholish as he can be. I believe kids are kids, are loud and obnoxious ALL OF THEM and with time will change.

He wants to be a drill sargent. if the kids have toys downstairs and are playing he wants to throw them up the stairs and "Fuck it if they shatter" he doesn't belive the boys should be downstairs playing. I'm fine as long as they are playing and pick up the toys after.

So. in short. we parent differently and i think if we had a child together it would be the end of us.

I do not have any kids with my husband to be but we have kids blended in our family. He and I have issues of a 3 6 and 7 year old. all boys. I parent differently than him. I'm not as harsh or assholish as he can be. I believe kids are kids, are loud and obnoxious ALL OF THEM and with time will change.

He wants to be a drill sargent. if the kids have toys downstairs and are playing he wants to throw them up the stairs and "Fuck it if they shatter" he doesn't belive the boys should be downstairs playing. I'm fine as long as they are playing and pick up the toys after.

So. in short. we parent differently and i think if we had a child together it would be the end of us.

Maybe she has different rules because of their ages. When I met DH, my DD was the age of SS now. He gets mad at me bc of the expectations I have of SS that I didn't have of DD. I told him that I realized, after many discussions with DH, that I was NOT being a great parent and didn't expect/teach DD the behaviors she needed to learn and that I didn't think by allowing SS to repeat the negative behaviors that DD had would be an effective way to raise a family. I now see my mistakes and hope to do better by SS and DS1 over the years. Unfortunately DD was a learning child and mistakes were made.

Communication is the key! Like confusedsm11 said it may have to do with their ages. However, if it really concerns you its important to bring it up to your DW & establish Rules of Engagement so to speak in dealing with all the kids/skids. Then once you have done that its easier to hold each other accountable.

With my SS my DW coddled & babied him before we got together. As a result he was a spoiled brat who threw tantrums all the time if he didn't get his way. I had to take on the role of disciplinarian & now he's 100 times better behaved. Granted he still likes to pull stunts with her but not if I'm around.

But even through all that & our styles are different it was talking about what behaviors needed to be changed in SS, coming up with plans of correcting behavior & establishing what punishments to enforce that really made the progress happen & strengthen our relationship as opposed to deviding us.

The approach I've found is saying this is negative & why & what the results of said step's behavior will become if uncorrected & I think it might help with the SD & the reverse to ease up on your kid together.

Best of luck!