jealous of my husband and his parents relationship with my SS
Hi everyone - I have a 12 year son with Aspergers a 9 year old and a 7 month old. I also have an 11 year old stepson who has been diagnosed with autism. He is very high functioning but has an academic and emotional age of about 7. He's a very sweet boy and it's not his fault that I am jealous of the relationship he has with his dad and his grandparents. I am an adult and know better feel like this but I can't seem to stop it. I get resentful when I see my ss's dad and grandparents dote on him. They bought him an IPAD one Christmas that they said was for educational purposes but all he does is play games on it. Of course, my kids did not get one and I couldn't afford to buy them one. That is where all this started. Not to mention my husband's ex wife is a nightmare, and then some. She is constantly taking us to court, etc. My husband also has to drive his son to and from school 30 miles each way 2-3 times a week. I just feel like my ss needs so much more attention than the norm and it takes away from my kids. I grew up in a step parent household so it was very difficult for me because my step grandma totally favored her own blood kids. However, my mom was totally fair and even all around for my step brothers and I. My step brothers to this day call her mom. I'm not sure if I am traumatized by my experience as a kid but I would like to change this. My husband is the love of my life and I want this to work 'til death do us part. But I am walking around frustrated and angry all the time. I have been reading some of the posts on this subject and will jot things down that apply to the way I am feeling and seek professional help on this. Any advise or thoughts will be much appreciated. 
BLJ
Is your sons' bio dad in the
Is your sons' bio dad in the picture? Is dad's family in the picture? If dad and his family are involved, hopefully that'll help your older boys.
While your dh and ILs may love or like your sons, it is just not the same because they're not their sons/grandsons. As long as they're kind to them and acknowledge them in their own way, that's what matters. Now, if they're being rude, mean or downright cruel, that's different and should be dealt with swiftly.
My stepdad's folks were polite to me. I was polite to them. I knew they loved their grandkids more. I loved my own GPs more. It worked for all of us.
We can't force anyone to love or like anyone else. All you can ask for is that they're not rude or mean to your kids.
No they're not rude to them.
No they're not rude to them. They just put their grandson first and it's obvious. I honestly don't know if I can deal with this. My mom is in Oregon and I'm in California. Sux!
They're going to love ss more
They're going to love ss more than your two oldest boys. That's just the way it is. Just like your boys will likely love your mom more than they do your ILs.
If you have unresolved issues from your childhood, you may want to consider getting counseling. If you are religious, your religious leader counseling you may be an option. Best of luck-it sounds like these issue have weighed on you for many years, and you owe it to yourself and your kids to get help in coping with them.
Anon- yes you're right and I
Anon- yes you're right and I will seek out some counseling. Ironically, I am pursuing a bachelor degree in clinical psychology at a private christian college in my area. By the grace of God, they have counseling available. I will call tomorrow and sign up.
thanks 
Anon - Were you referring to
Anon - Were you referring to Ecclesiastes 3:1-8? Please advise.