You are here

Working toward the right choice. Hurts.

Lisaj98052's picture

Okay not sure were to start with this question, but looking fot input. I have a 16 year son, he is a very kind, loveing, shy, kid, suffers from low self eistem. A gift from his father. I have full custody,yet he does see his father twice a month. Here's the problem. I dated a man for two year, he moved in about three years ago. At firts thing were good, a febumps in the road as you blend families. My son no longer like my boyfriend. The boyfriend has losts of rules. Like does not like the way people put dishes in the dish washer, or they dont recyle the right way, only he can wash towls, and. Linens,etc. And my house has piles and piles of his things.If someone moves something of his he gets upset. Last week something was moved and he got upset and immediately accused my son. Not to my sons face but to me. I stud up to him becuase im tired of. His stuff and tired of his blaming my son. He got so upset he there to large bowls and they broke. This person has out burst, and now my sone does not wish do do anything with this man. He is not a mean man, he has three well adjusted kids the youngest it 17. They do however know their dad has some issues. But they can always escape to there moms house. My son cannot. So im stuggleing as to wether i should stay in this relastionship. Feel like I may be as at a point were I have to choose. And my son will win. His kids love me and I have learn to love them. And I love this man, he is not all bad. I just may not be able to live with him.

Last In Line's picture

As the least your SO needs therapy...he sounds like he's a hoarder and OCD. He's exhibiting violent behavior as well.

I wouldn't allow my kid to be intimidated, nagged, and possibly verbally abused by this man. If I didn't feel like I could move out for whatever reason, my kid would be with dad, my parents, with a friend...something. You say your son already has low self-esteem, how do you think living with this man is affecting him? It certainly isn't helping.

beyond_fed_up's picture

Give him an ultimatum. What is more important, how the dishes are load or the fact that they're loaded? I'm a loading nit-pic myself, lol. What we do at our house - kids unload dishwasher every time and I load it every time. It's a win-win. If they put their dishes in the washer and it bugs me then I correct it and keep my trap shut. I'm just glad they're helping out. So what is his priority? He gets it done, or done his way?

Praise the Lord you are not married to this guy. It's harder to leave when you're married. So if that's what you want, sounds like you know the correct answer, then you should leave. Your son might resent you for staying. Sounds like he's getting very little time with his dad as it is, and that's not good for a boy. If the BF is unwilling to change then you definitely know what to do. Therapy might be a good thing for him too.