When will this be over?
Just came here for a rant! I absolutely cannot stand my SKs. I have SD11 and SS13. They are repellent to me. Sullen, slouching, grunting little twats. They come in my house and blank me. Literally we can go a whole weekend in the same house and not a word spoken between us. I wish they didn't exist. If I never saw them again it would be too soon. My life would be so perfect without them. During the pandemic I had a blissful month without seeing them and it was the best time.
I have two kids of my own and the kids get along great though my two find the SKs a bit of a pain and immature. SS won't eat anything other than about 3 meals which means all the others have to suffer his preferences. He wears shorts throughout winter and looks like a giant skinny 4 year old. SD just hovers around like some kind of weird ghost.
I just find them gross. I find myself questioning my husband's judgment all the time as to how he parents them and I have to brace myself for their visits. They don't eat nicely. They don't talk properly. They play all good in front of him but I know misbehave when he isn't looking. SS has to be centre of attention ALL the time. They put their filthy feet up everywhere, one clean up after themselves. SD never has any dirty laundry. One time she wore the same leggings and sweatshirt for 8 days. I was gagging.
I know I am irrational but I just can't stand them!
Rant on!
I know where you are coming from, I used to get so depressed when my 3 SK came over. They were being raised with different standards than mine and that's a polite way to put it. At least your and DH's kids get along, that's a blessing. Everybody on this site has felt that refinance so you are in good company here!
Welcome to the site!
Why would you have any liking for grumpy adolescents who come into your house and rudely ignore you? Their father should bring the wrath of god down on their heads for behaving like this, but sounds as if he is being a Disney Dad, like so many of them. Scared to correct the little snowflakes in case they stop wanting a relationship with him. I hardly spoke a word to my SDs when they were coming over EOW, for a decade+, for similar reasons to you. They were hostile and sullen and ignored me.
Thank you
Thank you for making me feel more normal. Is your SD older now ie an adult and if so has it affected things as they've got older? The BM of my SKs lives about 2.5 hours drive away and I'm hoping that as they get older they won't want to come here and eventually make their own lives elsewhere. I literally can't stand the sight of them. When they leave I clean and disinfect the entire house! I realise this is irrational but with Covid I haven't any idea where they've been or anything and I know BM new partner has 3 kids under 12 coming and going at their house.
How do you still love and
How do you still love and respect a man who neglects his children's needs because he's afraid they "won't like him"? So selfish. He's the problem here.
I’m not sure you’re wrong
When they are here I don't want to be with him. When they're not I manage to block it out. My own children adore him so I stay for that reason. I am questioning my judgment all the time. It is hard to respect someone with such poor parenting skills but he had a very troubled upbringing and no role models so I cut him some slack.
I sometimes feel
One of my step kids makes my skin crawl and I have to live with him full time. He's always being an asshole then wanted to hug and cuddle me straight after. Talks like a baby he's 13. And says love you mummy and I'm like NOOOOOOOOO.
Skin crawling
I can totally relate to the skin crawling. One of my step kids makes my skin crawl so bad I can't hardly be in the room with him. I feel so bad for you living with yours. I definitely could not do that. I can hardly cope with a few days at a time. Mine is 13 also. Just think, they will start to get social lives soon and hopefully not be around as much. We can but hope.