They have gone too far
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I have a daughter who is 8, a SS18, SD15. It has been a constant battle between us. Wife does not discipline and rarely follow through.
Last night SS18 left his facebook open by accident. I noticed it when I sat down at the computer. I see one of his posts says this. "Why does a 8 year old little girl have a laptop? I don't even have a laptop...Fuck you bitch"
Now I almost lost my mind and went down stairs and beat the hell out of him for saying that about a 8 year old that has never caused any issues in the house. She even bought them christmas gifts without even being asked.
Told their mom that i'm done and I don't want him to even come near me or speak to me again.
Yikes. I'm sorry to hear
Yikes. I'm sorry to hear that. I think it is important to have him apologize for what he said, but to not have him come around ever again may be going too far too.
I said some pretty mean things about my sister when I was younger, and she did to me as well. Sibling rivalry and jealousy is an issue parents have to constantly monitor and battle and sometimes, there's nothing they can really do except let the kids vent it out.
I don't know if the comment F you was directed at the 8 year old, or his mother though, as that is a bit ambiguous...
Hi Mom told him that I saw
Hi Mom told him that I saw the comment and she said he felt bad and embarrassed. I think he was more scared to what I would do.
he has said many times that he hates kids. So this just drives the nail in the coffin. He sits all day in front of that keyboard, has no social skills and rarely sees the light of day. I have told him and his mom there is consequences for saying certain things on the internet and hiding behind the keyboard will not always save you from a ass beating.
He felt bad & embarrassed?
He felt bad & embarrassed? Do you guess he's given any consideration to the feelings his words created in you???
Something needs to happen to make him accept responsibility for his actions. FB is not a journal & should not be treated as such. If he honestly carries those feelings, he needs to find a way to cope with them. Allowing his feeling bad & embarrassed to be his punishment is not enough. It's not okay to allow/enable kids to carry that kind of attitude. It makes for a really shitty grownup someday.
The average internet junkie,
The average internet junkie, I suppose. Lots of bark, very little bite. And yes, it does not save them from an ass beating just because they're behind a keyboard.
Lots of people don't like kids and lots of people have said things that they don't really mean. I know you're defensive because it is your daughter, but mom should really step up and get him to apologize, so he knows there are consequences for his actions.
My parents always told me and my sister, if we ever said anything hurtful, that if one day the other person got hurt physically, or died, and that was the last thing we ever said to/about them, how would we feel? And left it at that.
I think you need to get Mom to step up and teach him what is acceptable and what isn't acceptable. Some siblings, step or otherwise, fight like cats and dogs, and will say things that are terrible, and downright wrong, especially if they haven't been taught that it is inappropriate. =/
I agree with all of you. He
I agree with all of you. He needs to step up and say something and just not sulk around like a shy little puppy. He's 18 years old and I have told his mom he needs to start acting like a man. God willing he is going away to college in August.
I thought it said he almost
I thought it said he almost lost his mind & went downstairs to beat him...like he wanted to but didn't. Did I read it wrong?
I never touched him, it was
I never touched him, it was what I felt like doing at the time. I even told my 18BS not to touch him he's off limits. We are a very protective family and we stand up for our own.
Honestly, I need to cool off for a bit before I even think of being around him.
Ok. Phew.
Ok. Phew.
You "beat the hell out of
You "beat the hell out of him" is just a saying, right? RIGHT?!?
LOL yes, I said that a couple
LOL yes, I said that a couple posts ago.
Curuious why the 8 year old
Curuious why the 8 year old has a laptop and the teenager doesn't. Seems a little lopsided. We try and be even with the stepkids as much as we can, not always possible but we try....If there is a reason, understandable, but if not, see it from his eyes, seems unequal even to me.
As for posting on Facebook, I would block him from Facebook for awhile to learn a lesson about posting hateful things online...That is wrong.
My daughter got her laptop as
My daughter got her laptop as a b-day present a year ago before we moved in. It was a hand me down from her grandparents.
We asked SS if he wanted a laptop for christmas but he said no he wanted a PS3. Also SS and SD use the laptop when ever they want and usually have it 24/7 in their rooms. This was all up till they broke it and showed no remorse.
If he had the option, he
If he had the option, he shouldn't bitch about it. There needs to be a punishment here, but not a beating...
Why should he apologize for
Why should he apologize for anything he put in HIS facebook account? Ironically, if he had his own laptop, you never would have seen it, would you? Facebook is where kids communicate to one another. It obviously wasn't for you or anyone in the family to see. If he does something inappropriate on fb his friends may or may not hold him accountable. He was simply expressing how he felt to his friends. Obviously, he's angry. But you overreacting to something you found (not something he said to anyone in the house) is overreacting as well. Just from what you have said here, his anger is over the 8 yr old being more special than he is. SHE has a laptop. And your behavior over this shows how YOU feel about ss. There is such a thing as being overly defensive when it comes to our kids. Your dd8 has no clue he said anything, but you still jump to her defense irrationally to protect what? I'm guessing there is MUCH more to this story of your dd8 who NEVER does anything. I know...our own kids are the angels and the others are...NOT.
See what I posted right
See what I posted right before this. Guess what, whether you say it to my face or over the internet you should be held responsible. That is the issue with today's kids Step kids and biological alike. They are not held accountable. Just because it is typed does not make it any worse than from the mouth.
My kids know that there are consequences for saying or doing certain things. And no she is not special and she has the same rules as everyone else. I am not going to take away her laptop cause she received it a year before I even moved in. SS and SD are free to use it whenever up until they broke it.
I completely disagree. FB is
I completely disagree. FB is not an appropriate outlet for dirty laundry. SHE has a laptop. HE CHOSE a PS3.
As with anything else we post online, if you wouldn't say it to their face, it doesn't belong on the internet. The world is a small place, but FB makes it even smaller.
He needs to be taught that there are appropriate ways to deal with anger. Airing it all over FB isn't one of them.
This adult SS called an 8-year old child a bitch. Hardly appropriate anger managment, regardless of who he said it to.
So the child didn't hear it said...there is still the issue of this adult skid holding so much anger against a small child, & the attitude he carries & the way he addresses it. He's old enough to get a job & buy himself a laptop.
Respectfully disagree.
Respectfully disagree. Minors have NO privacy rights and it is important to monitor their social networking to teach them what is and is not appropriate to put out to the world for all time to come. Kids are putting unbelievably inappropriate things on the internet because no one bothered to tell them not to.
We found out that my SS16 was using drugs from things he posted on his Facebook. The reaction from his BM was not gratitude that we cared enough to monitor him but anger from both her and SS16 at the "invasion of privacy." I call bullshit. There is no expectation of privacy when you put something on the INTERNET and finding out he is using drugs as a minor is a GOOD thing - hello!!!! But it is easier for her to be angry at us than face the reality of her son's drug use. Way to go MOTY!
And by the way - you expect his FRIENDS to tell him what is not right to post??? Ever hear of the blind leadng the blind???
In America an 18yo isn't a
In America an 18yo isn't a child. If an 18yo isn't smart enough to log off Fb when they are being asses then they deserve what they get.
"there should be a name for
"there should be a name for people that are legally of age but generally incompetent."
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There is. It's called "Pain in the ass". BM is one of those.
OP's SS isn't a minor.
OP's SS isn't a minor.
That is true, but he lives in
That is true, but he lives in my house, eats my food, uses my cable and internet. Therefore I am responsible for everything that goes on in my house. I would like to know if he is doing something or bringing something illegal into my house where I can potentially be held liable for it. Not to mention having two other minors in the house is also my responsibility.
Legal age is irrelevant - if
Legal age is irrelevant - if he lives under his parents roof then he is still a minor regarding his "rights." While he is living in their house, eating their food, and acting for all purposes as a minor - HE IS A MINOR. If he wants to stand on his legal rights, puff out his chest and declare his majority then he can do it from his own residence! Until then - tough toenails pal!!!
But he didn't log out of the
But he didn't log out of the account. You can hardly expect someone to close their eyes & look away as they go through the steps to log out of his account for him. If you leave it there, you can't expect privacy.
Yes he lives with us and
Yes he lives with us and still in H.S. I want his mom to cut the apron strings and make him more independent but that is a on going process. He will never say anything out loud around me or her, but it bothers me what he is thinking.
When people say "my fb
When people say "my fb account was hacked" what they mean is "I didn't log out of fb."
Wow. I can't imagine how
Wow. I can't imagine how angry you must have felt. I give you a lot of credit for your restraint. I'd be pi$$ed as he11 if I saw any adult on fb write that about a minor. I hope your daughter didn't see and doesn't know about this remark SS made.
Mom needs to teach this guy that fb isn't the place where one should air their issues. Things would be a lot more calm for him if he'd approached dw on this issue, instead of calling a little kid a "f*cking b*tch" on fb. She should also tell him that at 18, if he wants a laptop so badly, he can get a job at the mall and/or grocery store to save his own $$$$ for one.
Keep your daughter away from SS , at least for the time being.