Is this my call?
BF's daugher 5, has a cat that lives with her mother, out of state. His daugher just came to live with us for the school year. Her mother is trying to pawn the cat off on us. I have a five year old cat of my own, that is my furry baby! His daugher isn't capable of taking care of a cat at the moment, and BF doesn't even like cats let alone taking care of one. Not to mention the fact the fur would fly if I tried to introduce a new cat into my household.(tried it before) I take care of my cat, and if we got another that would be my resposibility as well. Also SD is WAY to rough with my cat as is, even down right mean at times. I kinda feel like telling BM, if she had taught her child some respect for animals, we might consider it, but that is beside the point. I feel if it is going to be my resposibility it should be my call. If the situation gets out of hand with two cats, one is going to have to go to a shelter. (If my cat goes, so do I, it was a condition of me moving in, if I come so does MY BABY!) I don't have a problem with her having a pet so long as she can take care of it. Also we need to get it as a baby. Am I wrong to think that if BM got SD a cat, she needs to deal with it in her household?
She seems to think that pets
She seems to think that pets she buys SD are interchangable, BF is debating getting her a fish, he sure as heck doesn't think she is ready for a cat. BM lives over 2,000 miles away, so sending the cat back once she is here isn't a practical option. SD's cat is also declawed, so I really think my cat would severly hurt if not kill her. I love animals and would never want any harm to come to either cat, when it is preventable. We also live in a two bedroom apartment, so keep them apart isn't an option either. I just need BF to put his foot down. I just don't want an incident where I end up having to get rid of SD's cat because BM wont keep her.
Just say no. Two cats don't
Just say no. Two cats don't do well unless they are kittens at the same time.
I think that sounds pretty
I think that sounds pretty reasonable. A 5 year old can't take care of a cat, and it doesn't sound like it would be worth the drama (? :P) it would cause with the one you already own. I've tried introducing a new kitten to my older cat before and it did not go very well - I ended up having the give the kitten to a cousin of mine. If BF isn't a cat person anyway, I doubt he'll be willing to look after it and, in all honesty, might be glad for a reason not to take in a second one.
Whether it comes down to you or BF telling BM, I would suggest not throwing in the "Maybe if you had taught her how to look after a pet" part. It may be true, and while I think 5 is a little young to expect to be able to fully look after a cat there's no reason she shouldn't know to be kind to it, but adding that will probably just cause problems. A simple, "I understand it's her pet, but we don't have room for a second cat in our home." is enough. SD5 will probably be upset, but I'm sure she'll forget about it in a matter of days, and if she's going back to her mother's in the summer or during holidays she can see the cat then.