MEN DONT REALLY GET IT!!
First off, i apologize to the few guys out there who are really trying....all 1% of you.
I think that stepmothers have it the worst cos the men seem to think that we are in the dark ages where the woman is reponsible for more of the parenting. What's more............husbands dont think that their little princes or princesses NEED any parenting. They just think that the stepmum., their wife, is making an issue.
I have a SD 12 who is moderately well behaved but is so manipulative that this has become a bone of contention in my home. MY HOME!!!! Daddy of course does not want to discipline his daughter because she is just a "KID"...Just a kid I say........at 12! I think she can at least pick up her teacup when she is finished drinking but nooooo daddy does not think so.
Plus my DH expects me to baby sit every other weekend with his darling princess comes over but i told him that child care is not my profession. HA!!
What about the fact that you can't seem to talk to your DH's cos they are ultra sensitive to anything you say about THEIR KID, especially if you do not have any biokids yourself!!!
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Thank you guys for letting me rant and go on............I wish my DH could see my blogs. THat would at least let him know how I feel especially since I cannot say it to his face.
1% wife
I have to admit that I'm married to one of those who falls in the 1% category. As a dad, he's the best. He's a good parent and, even though he makes mistakes like the rest of us, he really does try. It's hard being put between a rock and a hard place, which is pretty much where you are. If you refuse to be his fill-in during visits, then you're an unsupportive wife and bad SM. If you do like I did and totally go overboard in mothering his children, then the BM gets all jealous, insecure and hostile, which causes immeasurable problems, as well.
I think, though, that as hard as it is to tell him what you need/want, you have to do it. He has zero chance of meeting your expectations and giving you what you need if you don't tell him, specifically and point blank, what exactly your needs and expectations are. He might not like it. He might totally freak out and go into hypersensitivity mode, but hey, part of being married is confronting the hard facts and dealing with them. He has to listen and hear you and you have to ask for what you want/need. The trick is finding the right combination of words to make him WANT to hear your side. Think about the different angles you've used before and try something different. It doesn't have to be about HIS KID. It can be about YOUR NEEDS. You can do this without even saying your SD's name!
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook